Lame Duck Congress Solves Debt Problem

The lovely first lady graces the front of the new dollar bill

Washington DC, Nov 9 2010. The Lame Duck Democrat Congress has made it's final gift to the American people by solving the National Debt problem.

Effective Jan. 1, 2011, all U.S. Currency will be replaced by new "Obama Dollars" at the rate of one million for one.

This innovative and creative new law means that you can add six zeros to everything you buy, but you can also add six zeros to your salary.

So basically, you are staying the same. Gasoline will now cost $2,850,000 a gallon instead of $2.85, but the minimum wage is now $7,000,000 per hour rather than $7 per hour.

"Almost everyone wins this way," Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-NV, told us. "The only people who get hurt will be our creditors and a few old people who made the mistake of putting their old money in banks. When they try to withdraw their life savings, we will give them "new dollars," so unless they have several trillion dollars in their IRA, they will be essentially broke."

 Due to the new currency, a penny will now be called a $10,000 coin" and a dime will be a "$100,000 coin." A quarter will still be a quarter, but now it will be "a quarter of a million dollars."

This also means that we just beat China out of that $1.4 trillion dollars that President Obama, D-Kenya, borrowed from them last year to finance his stimulus package.

China will get back exactly $1.4 trillion new dollars, plus interest accrued for the $1.4 trillion old dollars they lent us. 

But this really means they get only $1.4 million old dollars back, for a net savings of $1.385 trillion old dollars for the American taxpayer. Which means that Majority Leader Reid and Speaker Pelosi just saved the taxpayers a ton of money, and relieved our grandchildren of the burden of paying it back!

President Obama praised the Democrat Congress for finding this innovative solution. "With the stoke of a pen, I will make everyone in America into millionaires. Even the homeless people and those living on welfare."

The President of China, Hu Jintao was outraged by this announcement, but powerless to prevent it. "We checked the loan contract, and there is nothing in the fine print preventing the USA inflating their currency to screw us, so we are stuck."

"This just goes to show you, next time we do this we will get a real lawyer, not that Legal Zoom crap we heard about on Rush Limbaugh's program. Sure we saved a few thousand dollars in legal fees by doing it ourselves, but it ended up costing us almost $1.4 trillion dollars."