Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Diplomatic Community Stunned as WikiLeaks Embarasses White House

President not happy
Washington DC. Nov 29, 2010. The White House on Monday said WikiLeaks and others behind the release of a flood of confidential diplomatic memos were "criminals" and that President Barack Obama, D-Kenya,  was decidedly "not pleased."

Among the many secret documents were memos that revealed that President Obama had referred to the Queen of England as "an crazy old cracker who wears stupid hats."

And another in which First Lady Michelle Obama commented about the food during their vacation to India, saying "The chutney really sucked. Those people should stick to running donut shops."
Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said the people who released of some 250,000 classified State Department memos were "criminals, first and foremost" who had committed a "serious" offense.

"This is a serious violation of the law, a serious threat to individuals that both carry out and assist in our foreign policy," he told reporters, adding that it would not alter global counter-terrorism operations.
Gibbs said that Obama was decidedly "not pleased" by the release, which details previously unknown diplomatic episodes from the world's hot spots and includes scores of candid remarks about various world leaders.
The most shocking revealation was that these sensitive documents were obtained by a Army Private Bradley Manning, who was assigned to mop the floor at an Army intelligence center.
"Someone left their password on a post-it note on the right side of their monitor, so I logged in fould all this stuff" Manning said. "I couldn't believe anyone was that stupid. It was a snap to download all this stuff onto my thumb drive."

Julian Assange, the Australian who heads the secret-sharing Web site, told ABC News today he believes his safety and freedom are in danger. He responded to questions by email from a clandestine hideout.

He was undaunted by vows from the U.S. and Australia to prosecute him and said the forthcoming diplomatic cables are aimed at "lying, corrupt and murderous leadership from Bahrain to Brazil."

"We're only one thousandth of the way in and look at what has so far being revealed. There will be many more," he wrote defiantly.

Assange also dismissed a warning today by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton who said the dump of secret documents "puts peoples lives in danger," particularly those sources who provided the U.S. with information about abuses in foreign countries.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Michelle Obama Wins Nobel Prize


Stockholm, Nov 28, 2010. The Nobel Prize Selection Committee has announced today that they will be awarding the 2010 Prize for Fashion to First Lady Michelle Obama. Mrs. Obama has been well known for her eclectic fashion sense, and is being recognized for her unique style and elegance.

This will mark the second time in as many years for a Nobel Prize to be awarded to a member of the Obama family. President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, won the Nobel Prize for Peace in 2009. The Prize includes a gold medal and a $1.4 million award.

According to Nobel Prize Committee Chairman Dr. Sven Andersen,  "the First Lady earned this award by setting a bold and refreshing fashion standard for women all over the world."

Dr. Andersen told us "Mrs. Obama takes fashion risks, and empowers women to wear unconventional clothing that may not necessarily flatter them. This will encourage young women to have greater self esttem,

Once the news was announced, calls flooded the White House congratulating Mrs. Obama. Longtime friend Oprah Winfrey sent nine dozen red roses to Mrs. Obama with a note saying "This is a victory of all plus sized women!" Joy Behar, famous American celebrity, said "The cast and crew of The View join me in sending our profound congratulations to this wonderful role model for all of us."

Saturday, November 27, 2010

President Gets Fat Lip

Washington DC. Nov 27, 2010. While playing basketball yesterday, the day after Thanksgiving, President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, was hit in the mouth by the elbow of  Rey Decerega who is the Director of programs for the Congressional Hispanic Causus.

"After being inadvertently hit with an opposing player's elbow in the lip while playing basketball with friends and family, the president received 12 stitches today administered by the White House Medical Unit," Gibbs, the White House spokesman, said.

The news was issued about three hours after the incident.  The President was taken to the White House to see his doctor who put in twelve the stitches to repair his injured lower lip.

He was given a local anesthesia, and he requested that there be no call made for Vice President Biden to be in the wings. President Obama said "If anything goes wrong, make Hillary president. The last thing we need is that idiot Biden running things."

President Obama throwing an elbow himself
One of the basketball players had formerly played for Duke University, Reggie Love, who is Obama’s personal assistant.  Others were Avery Robinson, the President’s nephew, and Education Secretary Arne Duncan.

Mr. Decerega issued the following statement: "I learned today the president is both a tough competitor and a good sport.. I enjoyed playing basketball with him this morning. I'm sure he'll be back out on the court again soon. At least now he will think twice next time he tries to push me out from under the basket."

Palin Tops new poll of "Things Liberals Fear Most:"

Atlanta, Nov 27, 2010. In a startling new CNN/USA Today Poll released today, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has moved up from number four to the number one spot as the thing liberals fear most. This is the first time Ms. Palin has reached the coveted number one spot.

Ms. Palin displaced the previous top fear "Global Warming" sending it down to third place. Glen Beck remains in second place, and Rush Limbaugh has dropped from third place to fifth place.

1. Sarah Palin
2. Glen Beck
3. Global Warming
4. School Vouchers
5. Rush Limbaugh
6. Honest citizens who own guns
7. Lower Taxes
8. Prayer in Public Schools
9. Racial Profiling
10. White Militias

The baffling thing for policial analysts is that Ms. Palin holds no government office, nor is seeking any right now. This prompts many to suggest that their fear of Palin is entirely irrational.

Some analysts speculate that the recent uptick in fear for Sarah Palin was motivated by her daughter Bristol finishing in the top three on Dancing With The Stars, a popular TV program that many liberals routinely follow.

Surprisingly, the popular liberal fear of "Abortion being Outlawed" dropped completely out of the top ten, to the number twelve spot. This was probably due to President Obama, D-Kenya, installing two radical leftwing judges on the U.S. Supreme Court, Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan.

The CNN/USA Today phone poll is comprised of 1600 likely liberals, and is taken quarterly.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Congressman Barney Frank pitchs in to help TSA

"OK, cough please"
Washington DC. Nov 26, 2010. Just when we thought everyone in Congress only cares about themselves, Congressman Barney Frank, D-MA, has selflessly volunteered to assist in the TSA screening process.

Congressman Frank is doing this without pay, and during his own free time. "I just want to help out" he told us. "I know the TSA has their hands full right now, so I thought I would help out whenever I can."

Thanks to Congressman Frank's diligence and commitment to this effort, there have been absolutely no attempts to smuggle explosives onto airplanes "on his watch."

"The terrorist know that they can't sneak anything past old Barney....  so they don't even try," former Governor Jim McGreevy, D-NJ, told us. McGreevy is a close personal friend of Congressman Frank's and was hinting that he also might volunteer to help out the TSA. "I'm really impressed that Barney is doing this" he told us. "He's really providing a good leadership role model for all of us."

President gets dissapointing approval poll results. Considering changing name back to Barry.

Washington DC. Nov 26, 2010. President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, is considering changing his name back to "Barry Soetoro."

"Too many people have formed a negative opinion of this Obama fellow," the president read off his telepromter. "It might make a lot of sense for me to just go back to calling myself Barry Soetoro again."

Dr. Simon Weinhaus, a Professor of Linguistics at Georgetown University agreed, telling us "The name Barry Soetoro definitely sounds more like a Christian name. It might be thought of as Italian or Portugese, and not like an African Muslim name."

Dr Weinhaus told us he sees many advantages for the President if he Americanizes his name again.

"It certainly would help in any reelection campaign. A great many voters might not realize that this is the same Barack Obama who quintupled the Federal Budget Deficit."

"They might think he's some other bright, articulate and clean fellow instead of that crazy fellow who keeps wasting taxpayer money going on lavish vacations," Weinhaus told us.

"And that's exactly what I'm counting on" President Obama said. "Everyone liked Barry Soetoro. I probably blundered when I gave that name up to sound more Muslim, and more African. When I was Barry, I was trouble free. I might need to go back to being Barry again."

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Former President Sells Pardon to Turkey

"Did the check clear yet?"
Washington DC, Nov 25, 2010. Former President Bill Clinton stepped in to fill the breach while President Barak Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, was tied up on urgent matters of state at the Bethesda Oaks Golf Resort.

Former President Clinton issued an honorary pardon to this year's White House turkey, a 45 pounder named  "Cider," in exchange for his standard $400,000 pardon fee.

While Cider lacked the funds for the pardon payment, longtime Democrat Party donor Warren Buffet provided the the check on his behalf, so that former President Clinton could formally issue the pardon.

President Obama later called former President Clinton to thank him for filling in for him. "I really couldn't get away to do it, since I was tied up on the 14th green at the time, and I appreciate President Clinton stepping in to help out," President Obama said. Bill Clinton replied: "I really enjoyed doing it. It was real fun and reminiscent of the old days. And the $400,000 will come in handy to defray some of my recent expenses."

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Seoul, North Korea. Nov 23, 2010.  North Korea fired dozens of artillery shells onto a South Korean island on Tuesday, killing one person, injuring fifteen others, setting homes ablaze and triggering an exchange of fire as the South's military went on top alert.

In what appeared to be one of the most serious border incidents since the 1950-53 war, South Korean troops fired back with cannon, the government convened in an underground "war room" and "multiple" air force jets scrambled.

The firing came after North Korea's disclosure of an apparently operational uranium enrichment program - a second potential way of building a nuclear bomb - which is causing serious alarm for the United States and its allies.

Approximately 50 shells landed on the South Korean island of Yeonpyeong near the tense Yellow Sea border damaging dozens of houses and sending plumes of thick smoke into the air, YTN television reported.

A South Korean marine who was part of a contingent based permanently on the frontline island was killed and 13 other marines were wounded. Two civilians were also hurt during the shelling.

"A Class-A military alert issued for battle situations was imposed immediately after shelling began," a South Korean military spokesman said.

Sporadic firing by each side continued for more than an hour before dying out, the spokesman told us.

The shelling began at 2:34 pm (0534 GMT) after North Korea sent several messages protesting about South Korean naval, air force and army training exercises being staged close to the border, a presidential spokesman said.

"Flashes along with a thunderous sound were seen here and there across our villages and up to 10 houses were engulfed in flames," said Woo Soo-Woo, 62, a guesthouse owner on the island.

"The shooting started bushfires at several places in the hills," Mr. Soo-Woo told a war correspondent by phone, after fleeing the island by ferry for the mainland.

President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, told reporters as he was heading out for another golf outing today "There is no reason to jump to any premature conclusions here."

"This is way over my pay grade. I am confident that our Secretary of State Hillary Clinton can handle this. Now please excuse me, I have to tee off in 20 minutes or we lose our spot."

Sunday, November 21, 2010

President Obama Appoints Prison Czar

Lee Boyd Malvo
Lisbon, Portugal Nov 21, 2010. President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, briefly interrupted his European vacation to name Lee Boyd Malvo to the newly created post of Prison Czar.

Mr. Malvo is the surviving member of the team of DC Snipers who terrorized the region in 2002, in a shooting spree which left eleven people dead and six others critically injured.

His partner, John Allen Mohammed, was executed in 2009, but as Malvo was 17 when he committed the crimes, he could not face the death penalty, but he still could be extradited to Alabama, Louisiana, and other states for prosecution.

President Obama cited Malvo's life sentence in prison as his prime qualification to be Prison Czar. "This is a man who knows and understands our prison system well," President Obama said during the announcement today.

While Malvo was underage at the time of his crimes, he is now 25 and eligible to serve as an appointed government official. President Obama cited his "greater maturity" as one of the reasons he selected Malvo for this post.

President Obama also mentioned that the past eight years of incarceration have broadened and deepened Mr. Malvo's knowledge of "how the system works, and when it doesn't work."

Mr. Malvo will become President Obama's 48th Czar, and will join the President's  shadow cabinet providing advice and counsel to the President on matters involving our federal prison system. The job comes with a $320,000 annual salary, a staff of nine, an office in the White House, and a limousine and driver.

Unless President Obama can make some sort of arrangement with Malvo's prison warden, it is unlikely he will be able to use his limo or office. The appointment will become effective on Jan. 1, 2011.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Lame Duck Democrat Congress shovels Federal money to minorities as fast as they can

Washington DC. Nov 20, 2010. The U.S. Senate yesterday approved spending $4.6 billion to settle two lawsuits.

One by black farmers who alleged racial discrimination by government lenders and the other by 300,000 American Indians who said they had been cheated out of land royalties.

The lawsuit from black farmers filed in 1996 alleged that not enough bad loans were made by banks during Bill Clinton's administration to black farmers.

This is seen as a clear violation of Jimmy Carter's Community Reinvestment Act, which mandated that banks make bad loans to minorities. The CRA was the direct cause of the real estate market meltdown in 2007.

The lawsuit from Native Americans filed in 1997 alleged that Bill Clinton's Interior Department mismanaged trust funds that collected royalties for grazing rights and the extraction of minerals, oil and natural gas from tribal lands.

Passage of the measure, by voice vote, unblocks a legislative logjam that has thwarted payouts, negotiated by the Obama administration, of $1.15 billion to the black farmers and $3.4 billion to the American Indians.

“We are one step closer to ensuring that the black farmers and Native Americans in these suits are fully compensated for past failures of judgment by the government,” U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-CA, said in a statement after the Senate vote.

Ms Pelosi reminded everyone that "the clock is ticking on us, we have to make hay while the sun shines" referring to the Democrats losing their majority next January. "We have to spend as much taxpayer money as we can, in order to reward our special interest groups."

House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, D-MD, said he hopes to seek a vote after Congress returns from a week-long recess on Nov. 29. President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, praised the Senate action and urged the House to move forward with the bill “as they did last year.”

Yesterday, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-NV,  said in a statement that "justice will finally be served. And we can count on their votes in 2012.”

First Lady Sues Her Own Dress Designer

Jason Wu, World Famous Fashion Designer
Washington DC. Nov 20, 2010. First Lady Michelle Obama, has sued her own dress designer Jason Wu for "making my ass look fat." 

The lawsuit was filed late yesterday afternoon in the DC Superior Court. The suit had to be filed in the Superior Court due to the size of the claim involved. 

Mrs. Obama is seeking $44 million in direct damages, plus another $88 million for pain and suffering.

Mr. Wu, speaking through his attorney David L. Liebowitz told us "There is absolutely no basis for this lawsuit. I am a designer, not a miracle worker. What you see is pretty much what you get."
This dress was entered into evidence
In her lawsuit Mrs. Obama has accused the world famous designer of "intentionally selecting styles, colors and fabrics" for her dresses that "accentuate my large buttocks and thick waist" according to the suit.

According to Mr. Liebowitz, of the DC firm Campbell, Ross, Thompson and Liebowitz,  "This is clearly a frivolous lawsuit. We are confident it will be dismissed once a judge sees how weak these allegations are."

Mr. Liebowitz went on to say "Perhaps if Mrs. Obama visited those salad bars a little more often, she wouldn't have this problem."

Mr. Liebowitz was not so tactfully referring to Mrs. Obamas newest project to "install salad bars in America's public schools to encourage healthy eating." 

First Lady Michelle Obama is expected to announce on Monday a major new initiative that would place up to 5,000 salad bars in public schools nationwide, despite uncertainties over how local health inspectors might treat those salad bars and USDA nutrition-tracking rules that could prove a major impediment.

Another poor design choice by Mr. Wu
Critics have suggested that Mrs. Obama's extra girth could make her plan seem hypocritical. So this lawsuit may be an attempt to blunt that criticism by blaming it on her dress designer.

There is also some controversy regarding President Obama's close ties to Whole Foods Inc.

Whole Foods was a major corporate sponsor of the Obama 2008 election campaign, and is very likely to benefit from Mrs. Obama's salad bar initiative, since they are a major food supplier for public schools on the west coast.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Breaking News: President and First Lady Win "Dancing With The Stars" Competition!

Hollywood, Nov 18, 2010. The producers of the hit TV show Dancing With The Stars announced today that this season's winning couple will be President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, and First Lady Michelle Obama.

This news comes despite the Obamas not having competed on the program. "We were flooded with phone-in votes for the President and the First Lady after the recent Bristol Palin controversy," Sol Horowitz executive producer told us.

"We have never seen anything like this before," Horowitz  said. "Over 40 million people called in to vote for the First Couple as the winning contestants, even though they never danced on the program or entered the competition!"

"The odd part of all this is that most of the calls we traced to the Chicago area, and the ones we were able to check were from people who died years ago.... but the rules are pretty clear about this. The Obama's have clearly won this year's competition based on the viewer votes."

Mr. Horowitz told us that they will very likely modify the rules for next year's contest to disqualify non-living voters, to prevent a similar occurrence next season. Also he added "we will probably require that you must actually dance on the program in order to win."

The President was  reached for comment today, while he was busy packing for their European Vacation next week. "Michelle and I are thrilled about winning the dance competition on Dancing With the Stars," President Obama told us. "Right now we are completely exhausted from our Asian Vacation last week, and are really looking forward to relaxing and unwinding on our European Vacation next week."

"Michelle and I worked hard for this. We practiced dancing in every foreign nation and luxury resort in the world. I'd say we deserve this award just as much as I deserved to win that Nobel Peace Prize" I won, President Obama told us.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

George Soros Calls Al Gore "Bumbling Idiot"

George Soros isn't happy about Al Gore
Asuncion Paraguay, Nov 17 2010. Global financier George Soros, while on a business meeting in Paraguay, blamed Al Gore for "inventing the internet, and screwing up my entire life."

"That bumbling idiot should have left well enough alone," Soros told our financial correspondent Carlos Santiago. "He invents this internet garbage, and the next thing you know any dope with a computer and an internet connection can find out all about my shady past."

"I sick and tired of this crap," Soros continued. "No one would know about me collaborating with the Nazis to round up Jews durring the war if that bastard Gore hadn't invented the internet!"

"And it doesn't stop there. I can't even fart without someone posting the time, place, and approximate smell on the internet. This internet is interfering with my business transactions with President Barack Obama, the CFR, the Bildenberg Group, and all my currency manipulation schemes. Gore took money out of my pocket by inventing this damn internet thing. That idiot owes me an apology."

Gore denies all charges
When Al Gore heard about Soros' comments he vehemently denied any malicious intent. "My internet invention has benefited all of mankind," Gore told us. "I created a global information highway that has done a lot more good than harm."

"I cannot help it if the internet also enables people to find out a few embarrassing things about George Soros' past. It's just the nature of the beast. Look, I understand how he feels. If it wasn't for the internet the news about me trying to get that happy ending from the masseuse would never have gotten out. So I'm a victim too."

Former Vice President Gore was referring to an incident at a massage parlor that resulted in him being charged with sexual assault in Portland Oregon in 2006.

Eventually the charge was dropped, but it ended up costing him his marriage and a $68 million divorce settlement.

"Well, he's still a total idiot," Mr. Soros told us, after hearing Gore's statement. "What sort of moron gets breast implants after he loses an election to cheer him up? If anyone needed cheering up it was me. I wasted $28 million trying to get that dope elected in 2000."

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Napolitano Cracks Down on Terror Suspects

"I'm not kidding. This is serious"
Washington DC, Nov 16, 2010. In an effort to make flying safer, Janet Napolitano the Secretary for Homeland Security has ordered much tighter security measures at routine Airport screening checks.

"I think we should crack down hard on these terror suspects, provided we don't cross the line and ethnically profile anyone," Secretary Napolitano told us. "It is a vital measure needed to prevent terror plots on our aircraft."

Some critics have suggested that this is just an overreaction due to her failure to prevent the Ft. Hood Massacre, the Christmas Bomber, and the Times Square Bomber. All of which either succeed or were thwarted by a bystander, and not stopped by any action taken by Homeland Security.

Suspected shoe bomber Sol Abromowitz
The Homeland Security secretary said in a statement Saturday that new measures were “designed to be unpredictable, so passengers should not expect to see the same thing everywhere.” 

She said passengers should proceed with their holiday plans and “as always, be observant and aware of their surroundings and report any suspicious behavior or activity to law enforcement officials.”

"We really have to crack down hard on terrorists posing as old men, old women, children or nuns," she said, "making certain that no Moslems are being unfairly singled out for our invasive and humiliating body searches." 

Miss Napolitano told us that the Obama Administration has no desire to interfere with Islamic customs, to violate Sharia Law, to insult the Holy Quran, or to inconvenience any Muslim passengers. They just want to prevent terror plots in order to save lives. A spokesman for C.A.I.R., Mohammed Sayid Al Fatah said he appreciated her efforts in those regards.

Breasts are checked for explosives
One area getting greater scrutiny under the new regulations is the potential threat of explosive devices being planted in female breasts. Ms. Napolitano has ordered thorough breast checks, and even offered to do some herself if the TSA needed help.

And this policy isn't being strictly limited to women either. Last week former Vice President Gore was subjected to a thorough breast exam, just to be on the safe side. 

"Normally, we don't check men's breasts for this," a TSA spokeswoman Gloria Watkins-Washington told us. "But Gore's breasts looked awfully big and suspicious, so it's better to be safe than sorry.

Sister Mary Elizabeth gets full pelvic body check
There has been some intelligence information suggesting that terrorists might be posing as Catholic nuns, so efforts in this area were stepped up too.

The long "burka-like" nun's habit could easily be used to conceal explosives or weapons. So they must be thoroughly screened to prevent a disaster.

Miss Napolitano tells us that every precaution is being taken, even including complete pelvic searches of nuns, as in the photo at the right illustrates.

There has been some controversy over the new full body scanners that Miss Napolitano ordered into use recently. Some people think they are humiliating and too invasive. And there is also some question about the safety of the machines themselves.

Janet Napolitano scanned
Miss Napolitano demonstrated how safe and easy the process is by going into a scanner herself.

"Sure, it's a little humiliating and embarrassing" she said, "but this is a necessary step in preventing terror attacks. It's a small price to pay for the peace of mind of knowing everyone has been thoroughly checked before getting onto an airplane."

"If we didn't take all these precautions and something bad happened then the President would look bad, and he'd have to invent some way to blame former President Bush for the terror attack. And that excuse is wearing thin lately," she said.

Obama Blames Bush for Failure to End Ban on Gays

Washington DC, Nov 15, 2010.  Gay rights activists handcuffed themselves to the White House's north gate on Monday, urging President Barack Obama, D-Kenya, to keep his campaign pledge to repeal the  ban on homosexuals serving openly in the military.

Thirteen demonstrators organized by the GetEQUAL campaign for gay rights, including nine veterans, a Catholic priest and other advocates, were arrested after shouting they were "proud to serve" and vowing: "We will not disappear."

"Today, we have sent a loud and clear message to the US Senate and President Obama that we expect them to make good on their promises to end this inhumane law this year, during the lame-duck session of Congress," GetEQUAL co-founder and director Robin McGehee said in her statement.

She was among those who were arrested by President Obama's White House police.

The protest came ahead of the Pentagon's Internal Review into the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, due on December 1.

President Obama interrupted packing for his European Vacation to make a statement. 

"I'd love to lift that ban, but I just can't do it right now. I have a few more important vacations to take first. It's all Bush's fault. Just take my word for it, and I will explain later," he said.

Monday, November 15, 2010

President Obama Exempts Friends from Obamacare

"Because I can!"
Washington DC, Nov 15, 2010. President Obama declared that the new health care law "is going to be affecting every American family." Except his own, of course.

The new health care law exempts the president from having to participate in it. Leadership and committee staffers in the House and Senate who wrote the bill are exempted as well.

Many large unions and corporations told us that National Obamacare was "the best thing for America" but they are now seeking... and getting... exemptions for themselves from this law from the White House.

These are the same people who contributed millions of dollars to help elect Democrats, and who paid for TV and radio ads supporting National Obamacare. But now they say they cannot afford to stay in business if this law is applied to them. But they still believe it should be applied to "everyone else."

As with all bad legislation, the Democrat Congress started out by exempting themselves. This tradition goes way back to 1936, when the Democrat Congress decided to exempt themselves from the Social Security Act. And more recently they found it necessary to exempt the UAW (United Auto Workers) from National Obamacare.

"We think it's pretty funny. The jokes's on you!"
Here is a partial list of some of President Obama's, D-Kenya, friends and sponsors who have been exempted from this job killing bill after it was passed by the Democrat Congress. There are currently 111 groups expemted from Obamacare, with thousands more applications under review by the White House and the Lame Duck Congress.

All of these were initially in favor of this legislation, but now want it applied to "everyone but us" due to the high cost and poor quality of healthcare it will provide for their employees:

Aegis Insurance
Alliance One Tobacco
American Fidelity
AMF Bowling Worrldwide
BCS Insurance
B.E.S.T. of NY
Captian Elliot's Party Boats
Carlson Restaurants
Cracker Barrel
Darden Retaurants
DISH Network
Dixie Group
Duarte Nursery
Employees Security Fund
GPM Investments
GuideStone Financial Resources
Hospitality Benefit Fund Local 17
IBEW Local 915
Ingles Markets
Jack In The Box
Jeffords Steel and Engineering
Macayo Restaurants
Metro Paving Fund
Musicians Health Fund Local 802
New England Healthcare
O'Reilly Auto Parts
Pictsweet Company
Plumbers and Pipefittes Union Local 123
Reliance Standard
Regis Corporation
Ruby Tuesdays
SEIU Local 25
Service Employees Benefit Fund
Sun Belt
Transport Workers Union
UFCW Allied Trade Health and Welfare Trust
UFCW Local 227
UFCW Local 1262
UFCW Maximus Local 455
Uncle Julios
United Group

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Photos From President Obama's India Vacation

New Delhi, Nov 13, 2010. Just in, some photos from the gala Obama India Vacation, as President Obama and First Lady Michelle move on to pressing business in Indonesia and Japan,

President Obama presents a box of chocolates to Indian Prime Minister

President and First Lady teaching The Electric Slide to Indian children
President meets King of India at New Delhi fast food restaurant
President and Teleprompter speak to crowd in Mumbai
A Hillary Clinton body double came along to provide an easy target for assassins

Gore Warns World: "We only have ten years left!"

Stockholm Sweden, Nov 13, 2010. For the ninth time in the past 35 years Global Warming Guru and Nobel Prize Winner Albert Gore Jr has put the world on notice that we "only have ten years left" if we don't drastically alter our lifestyles to prevent global warming.

This dramatic pronouncement was made at the regular weekly Global Warming Action Committee meeting in Stockholm, that Gore chairs.

"The USA is the main problem in causing Global Warming" Former Vice President Gore told us. "Their industrial output and employment rates are still way too high. Simply put, if more people were unemployed in the USA, then greenhouse gas output could be dramatically reduced,"

While President Barack Obama, D-Kenya, has done everything in his power to drive unemployment numbers even higher, his hands may be tied now that the GOP has won control of the House in last week's congressional elections. There is just so much President Obama can do without having a rubber stamp congress to approve his well crafted policies to reduce industrial output.

Gore noted that the world actually has made some good progress combating global warming during the first two years of the Obama Administration.

"There is nothing greener than an unemployment check" he said. "No fossil fuels are burned when you put people out of work. Just the opposite."

"And nowadays, we don't even have to cut down trees to create these checks. Thanks to electronic bank transfers, we can credit the bank accounts of the unemployed."

"My biggest fear now is that the Republicans may drag us back to those dark days of 4.6% unemployment that President Bush had," he told us.

Mr. Gore got some good news last week when our October employment numbers were reported by the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Our unemployment rate held steady at 9.6% with an additional 75,000 workers losing their jobs.

But the open question is... can President Obama sustain this momentum with a GOP House in place on Jan 1, 2011?

"Fortunately, we need 200,000 new jobs each month just to stand still, due to immigration and population growth," Gore emphasized. "So even if President Obama inadvertently creates a few thousand new jobs, there will still be a net job loss. And this will help reduce global warming."