Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Former Speaker Pelosi Shocked by Election Results. Cleans out Desk, Moves to New Office

Washington DC. Nov. 3, 2010. Nancy Pelosi, D-CA, is no longer the Speaker of the House following yesterday's stunning losses for Democrats in the Congressional Elections.

"We lost how many seats?"
Naturally this means that Miss Pelosi will lose some of the perks she has grown accustomed to over the past four years.  

She will lose the use of her private jet, although Presumptive Speaker John Boehner has assured her that he thinks he can swing a DC "unlimited" bus pass for her. These are the best passes and have no blackout times or dates.

And she will have to relinquish her lavish office and move back to her previous office in the House basement, next to the utility closet. Unfortunately, that office doesn't even have a window.

During her tenure as Speaker, Ms. Pelosi had many major accomplishments that she can look back fondly on. 
 She certainly has built a record that any Democrat could be proud of.
    • Iran and North Korea finally got nuclear weapons
    • The price of gas went from $1.21 to $2.85
    • She added $5 trillion to the National Debt
    • She drove Congressional Approval ratings down to 11%
    • Over 3 million people lost their jobs 
    • France doesn't love us yet, but they do like us now
    • She set new records for bank failures and foreclosures
    • She doubled our unemployment rate from 4.8% to 9.6%
      The Speaker's Office
    Her new office
    Ms. Pelosi can hold her head high. No other Democrat has this sort of record of accomplishment since Jimmy Carter left office 30 years ago.

    Currently, only President Barak Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, has a record of accomplishments that is even close to her's.

    Ms. Pelosi is now planning to take a few weeks off to wind down from this stressful election campaign and get some much needed plastic surgery work done. 

    "I've been postponing several procedures for years, and now that I'm not Speaker of the House anymore, I will have time to get them done," she told us.

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