Sunday, January 30, 2011

President Picks Wrong Thing to Brag About

Jan 30, 2011. In his State of the Union Address last week, President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, cited the example of  the Bruce Randolph School in Denver.

He said this was an example of a public school that was a huge success. Making the point that school vouchers and home schooling are not the solution. Public schools are.

“Take a school like Bruce Randolph in Denver,” he said.

Three years ago, it was rated one of the worst schools in Colorado. Last May, 97 percent of seniors received their diploma.”

In order to appreciate what a poor example President Obama picked to illustrate "the success of public schools," you have to know something about the history of this school, and how it came to be so successful. The deadwood had to go.

Bruce Randolph School has succeed precisely because it isn't run like any of the other public schools.

To put it bluntly, every reason for their success involved something that the Obama Administration opposes, and conservative critics support.

Five years after it opened, that school was given permission by the state to run completely autonomously and free from school district and UNION rules.

And then, in in a shocking move, the principal made every teacher reapply for his/her job.

Only SIX teachers made the cut. It's actually pretty amazing that the Union allowed this to happen, but they should be commended for doing so. Because this was the key to the turnaround at Bruce Randolph School.

The principal who oversaw the transition said the success was simple:

Having the common expectations about what it means to be a student at Bruce Randolph school, and what it means to be a teacher at Bruce Randolph school. And every teacher agreeing to have the same rules and expectations.”

According to their own government sponsored website, Bruce Randolph School:

Principal Kristen Waters turned the school around
"serves a predominantly Hispanic student population, is one of a dozen schools in the district undergoing reform and revitalization.  

Waivers recently granted by the District and the Denver Classroom Teachers Association will give Waters and her staff significant flexibility in .... hiring, teaching loads, and the ability to pay staff above the levels stated in the collective-bargaining agreement for certain assignments."

The school 83% Hispanic, while the state average is 27%.
They have more crowded classrooms with 21 students per teacher; the state average is 17.
They have 94% of their students on the free lunch program; the state average is 33%.

The President was right about one thing. This school is a raging success. But only because it breaks every principle that he and the liberal Democrats hold dear. The Union doesn't run this school, and neither does the centralized school board.

The Principal and the teachers do.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Egypt on Brink of Revolution; Joe Biden in "De Nile"

"I don't see a problem"
CAIRO, Jan 28, 2011. As Egypt teeters on the brink of revolution, Vice President Joe Biden, D-DE,  is in full blown denial, proving once again that he is totally clueless and out of touch with reality.

Biden denied that Eqyptian President Hosni Mubarak is a "dictator" and said he "shouldn't step down," despite having autocratically ruled Egypt for the past 29 years.

Asked if he would characterize Mubarak as a dictator Biden responded: “Mubarak has been an ally of ours in a number of things. And he’s been very responsible on, relative to geopolitical interest in the region, the Middle East peace efforts; the actions Egypt has taken relative to normalizing relationship with – with Israel. … I would not refer to him as a dictator.”

Mubarak's rule has been both brutal and iron fisted, as he has used his secret state police and torture to suppress all dissent and political opposition.
Mr. Biden's comments will not be well-received by regime opponents, as they demonstrate a steadfast American support for a brutal non-democratic government the protesters want to bring down. 

If the revolution is successful, the Obama Administration will likely have to disavow Biden's statements, probably using the standard excuse that "everyone knows Biden is a dope, you just can't take him seriously." 

This strategy has been used before whenever Vice President Biden says something that embarrasses the President.

Biden also appeared to make one of his famous gaffes, in comments that could be interpreted as questioning the legitimacy of protesters' demands. 

The protesters have generally focused on freedom, democracy, an end to police torture, and a more committed government effort to address the poverty that aflicts millions of Egyptians.

The revolt in Egypt is one of several spontaneous actions that have taken place in the Middle East this year. 

In Tunisa, thousands of demonstrators, including police officers, lawyers and students toppled Zine El Abidine Ben Ali, Tunisia's longstanding ruler, sending him into exile in Saudi Arabia on January 14.

In Jordan thousands have taken to the streets in protests, demanding the country's prime minister step down, and the government curb rising prices, inflation and unemployment.

In Lebanon, Sunni supporters of ousted Prime Minister Saad Hariri took to the streets in a "day of rage", burning tires and blockading roads in Tripoli and Sidon.

Today's demonstrations in Egypt involving tens of thousands of people were the biggest and bloodiest in four consecutive days of protests by people fed up with unemployment, poverty, corruption and the lack of freedom under Mubarak.

Protesters hurled stones at police and shouted "Down, Down, Hosni Mubarak."

Meeting and greeting Corporate big shots
"This protest is not going to stop. They won't and can't trick the people again and give us some lame concessions. Hosni has to go," one protester said after fleeing a police attack.

President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, could not be reached for comment on this crisis, as he was busy attending GE Team Building training session at their Corporate Headquarters in Fairfield Connecticut.

President Extends Contracts with Corporate Sponsors

Washington DC, Jan 28, 2011. President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, announced today that he is extending his contracts with his corporate sponsors for another two years.

The President would not discuss the exact terms of the contract extensions, but informed sources tell us that in exchange for an undisclosed lump sum cash payment, the President will receive generous campaign contributions in 2012.

In exchange for this the President has agreed to shamelessly promote these corporations and to supply taxpayer funded bail-outs whenever they have a bad year. Which happens pretty often. This will effectively remove all risk for them, and give them a huge competitive advantage.

There are also unconfirmed reports that a retirement fund has been set up for President Obama, with a pension of approximately $100,000 per month for the rest of his life. This pension will be funded by the stockholders of these various corporations.

The actual list of Obama Corporate Sponsors is intended to be confidential, but it's hardly any secret that Goldman Sachs, GE, AIG, Progressive, JPMorgan, Berkshire Hathaway, Microsoft, Google and GM are among the corporations sponsoring the Obama Presidency.

Buffet goes over SOTU script with President Obama
Warren Buffet, de facto spokesman for the consortium has nothing but high praise for President Obama.

"He has been a better investment than we had hoped in our wildest dreams. He's bright, articulate and clean, and he will do anything we ask him to do. You really can't ask for more than that in a President."

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

President Barack Obama Delivers GE Infomercial; Wants "Budget Freeze" and "Much More Spending"

Washington DC. Jan 26, 2011. In an unexpected and shocking move, President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, scrapped the "State of the Union" concept and delivered an infomercial for GE instead during last night's speech.

The President spoke ambitiously of putting money into high tech windmills, green research, high-speed rail and other GE initiatives in his State of the Union speech.

He pointed to the transportation and construction projects of the last two years and proposed "we redouble these efforts."

And then he combined his request for "much more spending" with a call to "freeze annual domestic spending for the next five years." Two seemingly opposite goals.

President Obama offered many more examples of where he would increase spending  than where he would cut it. He is asking for the impossible by demanding much higher spending levels, while simultaneously saying he will freeze spending.

Fortunately for the President, most of his most ardent fans are incapable of understanding the math. And the public schools are working hard to make sure that future voters are similarly unable to add up numbers.

Some of his suggestions were recycled from last year's SOTU address, and were never implemented by him, even though he had super majorities in both houses of Congress.

New Presidential Logo?
Last night, he said he wants to eliminate "billions in taxpayer dollars we currently give to oil companies." But he made the exact same promise last year and failed to implement it. He sought $36.5 billion in tax increases on oil and gas companies over the next decade, but his own Democrat Congress completely ignored the request.

The President said he will tackle the deficit, but this will mean "further reducing federal health care costs, including programs like Medicare and Medicaid, which are the single biggest contributor to our long-term deficit.

If anything, Obamacare will ramp up federal spending to new record levels, by including 39 million previously uninsured people. There is simply no way it will cost lest to insure more people, because the Obamacare Bill deals with expanding entitlements, and not with cost control.

Another recycled promise from last year was "to veto any bills sent to him that include "earmarks." He told us "Both parties in Congress should know this: If a bill comes to my desk with earmarks inside, I will veto it."

But Obama ignored his own promise last year, and signed plenty of earmark-laden spending bills when Democrats controlled both houses. In fact, new records were set for the number of earmarks and the huge cost they added to the deficit.

Last year he told us "I'm willing to look at other ideas to bring down costs, including one that Republicans suggested last year: medical malpractice reform to rein in frivolous lawsuits." But his own party never allowed any tort reform bill to come to a vote. Making it pretty difficult for the President to "look at it."

Obama has expressed openness before to this prominent Republican proposal, but it has not come to much. It was one of several GOP ideas that were dropped or diminished in the health care law after Obama endorsed them in a televised bipartisan meeting at the height of the debate.

Trial lawyers, who are major political donors to Democratic candidates, are strongly opposed to caps on jury awards. But President Obama  has refused to support any type of tort reform, even after saying he would consider it.

GE Windmill Farm
GE High Speed Railroad

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Congress Picks "Seat Buddies" For SOTU Address

President strikes his "nose in air" pose
Washington DC, Jan 25, 2011. The  Administration launched a new website last week to help each member of Congress find the right "seat buddy" for tonight's State of the Union Address.

Each member of Congress was asked to go to the website and fill out a simple questionnaire so that Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano could select their ideal seating partner for the SOU address.

The match up process was loosely based on those by dating websites and

Since there are 535 members of congress, which is an odd number and impossible to divide evenly, one congress member will have to sit with First Lady Michelle Obama to make the seating plan work out right.

The lawmakers will be seated with compatible congress members from the opposite party, in an effort to promote bipartisan cooperation.

The questionnaires were submitted last week and Secretary Napolitano made the tough decisions, but the actual seating plan was not revealed to the press. You will have to tune in tonight to see who was matched up with whom.

Here are a few of the questions that were used to determine the ideal seating partners:

1. A president should have a valid birth certificate.                                TRUE or FALSE
2. It is important for us to apologize to Cuba for the trade embargo         TRUE or FALSE
3. Income taxes should be much higher. The rich should pay more.       TRUE or FALSE
4. We only have 50 states, although sometimes it feels like more          TRUE or FALSE
5. Once you get to know him, Hugo Chavez is a pretty nice guy            TRUE or FALSE

Ms. Napolitano then used the responses to match up the most compatible members of each party to sit with each other during the speech. President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, hailed the plan "as a positive step to assure bipartisanship among lawmakers."

In addition, in an effort to include everyone, over 50 folding chairs were rented so President Obama's Czars could attend the SOTU address.

This effort was the result of a petition circulated to members earlier this month, Sen. Mark Udall, D-CO, called on his colleagues to sit with a lawmaker of the opposing party as a way to heal Congress’s increasingly divisive rhetoric, debates that in the public arena have at times erupted into hateful rhetoric and even violence.

Traditional method of seating
The bipartisan gesture carries a serious tone for nearly all who have pledged to do away with the typical seating arrangement, which is not assigned but generally gets divided by party.

But the humor of asking one of their fellow lawmakers to attend the event as their “date” has not escaped members.

“It’s a little like prom,” joked one Democrat, who asked not to be identified. “You just hope they don’t turn you down.”

Some members of congress are planning to bring corsages and boutonnieres for their seat buddys.  Congressman Barney Frank, D-MA has requested a "pink wrist corsage" from whoever gets selected to sit with him.

Monday, January 24, 2011

NEWSFLASH: Emanuel Booted off Chicago Ballot!

"You told me it was all set!"
Chicago IL, Jan 24, 2011. Rahm Emanuel, who left Chicago and his seat in the Congress to serve as President Barack Hussein Obama's, D-Kenya, Chief of Staff may not appear on the mayoral ballot in Chicago.

An Illinois appellate court ruled today that he does not meet the residency standard.

President Obama had hand picked Emanuel to replace Mayor Richard Daley, so he could have a strong ally running the corrupt Chicago Political Machine.

Even former President Bill Clinton endorsed Emanuel, and offered to campaign for him. But now all of this is in doubt. Emanuel will appeal this decision, and if he loses the appeal, he may have to find other employment.

Emanuel told a news conference he would appeal the decision to the Illinois Supreme Court and would ask for an injunction so his name would appear on the mayoral ballot.

"I have no doubt at the end we'll prevail in this effort," Emanuel said. "We'll now go to the next level to get clarity."

Emanuel, a former congressman, has been the front-running candidate in the race to succeed retiring Mayor Richard Daley. The latest poll by the Chicago Tribune showed Emanuel at 44%, more than double his closest rival, former U.S. Sen. Carol Moseley Braun.

"We conclude that the candidate neither meets the [Illinois] Municipal Code's requirement that he have 'resided in' Chicago for the year preceding the election in which he seeks to participate nor falls within any exception to the requirement," the majority judges wrote.

Emanuel said that if he loses the appeal he will return to his first love, ballet. In his youth, Mr. Emanuel was a very talented ballet dancer.

"My partner Ron Reagan Jr. and I have this dream of going on the road with a two man show. 'Romeo & Romeo,' a ballet loosely based on the Shakespeare classic play," he told us.

Obama Continues to Exempt Unions from Obamacare

"Dr. Barack knows what's best for you"
While these labor unions felt it was best for "everyone else" to be part of this massive and inefficient government plan, they also feel that the huge cost and additional red tape would be a bad thing for them.

Plus they don't like the fact that under Obamacare their liability towards their own employees healthcare expenses would be unlimited. They say they need these waivers to limit their own liability.

The waivers allow health insurance plans to limit how much they will spend on a policy holder’s medical coverage for a given year. Under the new health care law, however, such annual limits are phased out by the year 2014. (Under HHS regulations, annual limits can be no less than $750,000 for 2011, no less than $1.25 million in 2012 and no less than $2 million in 2013.)

The SEIU, with more than 2 million members nationally, includes health care workers, janitors, security guards, and state and local government workers.

The three SEIU locals, covering a total of 36,064 enrollees, are covered by the federal waivers, according to the Department of Health and Human Services.

SEIU campaign workers for Obama
HHS gave a waiver to Local 25 SEIU on  Oct. 1, 2010; to Local 1199 SEIU on Oct. 10, 2010; and to the SEIU Local 1 on Nov. 15, 2010.

So far, the Obama administration has issued waivers to 222 entities, including businesses, unions and charitable organizations.

Of that total, 45 were labor unions. And virtually all were heavy contributors, and provided volunteer workers for his 2008 election campaign.

Camp Gitmo Celebrates Ninth Anniversary

Sheik Khalid and Richard Reed enjoy breakfast together
Guantanamo, Cuba. Jan 24, 2011. Camp X-Ray, or "Club Gitmo" as it is known to terrorists, will celebrate it's ninth anniversary this year.

This resort hotel, designed to house dangerous terrorists while they awaited their trials at military tribunals that never came, is reputed to be one of the finest vacation spots in the world.

The U.S. military has installed satellite television service and distributing Sudoku puzzles in Guantanamo prison cells even as President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya,  works towards his goal of emptying them of detainees.

The various amenities and amusements are designed to provide mental stimulation for the remaining captives, whom human rights monitors and defense lawyers have said were being driven mad by years of isolation at the U.S. prison for suspected terrorists.
The lucky residents of this resort are fed 3 square meals per day of strictly halal food and given the opportunity to perform their daily prayers, to fast and to perform terawih prayers during Ramadan.

The food served to the residents of Club Gitmo is better in many cases than the food being served to our troops in the Armed Services.

Congressional decree prevents the military from serving MRE’s (Meals Ready to Eat, vacuum packed sealed food bags served to U.S. troops) to detainees because it would be considered "abuse."

The President has many Muslim friends
Our men and women in Iraq and Afghanistan would be proud and happy to know that the people that were shooting at them are now being fed better than they are...

Here's a sample halal menu, served just last week:

*Orange Glazed Chicken
*Rice Pilaf
*Steamed Peas & Mushrooms
*Fruit Roupee

In addition, on Ramadan the guests at Club Gitmo are served lamb, dates and honey as part of their holiday meals...with extra large portions to make up for the daily fast.

What's more, during Ramadan,medical personnel are constantly in attendance to monitor the prisoners and make sure that no one gets ill or dehydrated during the Ramadan fast. As a general rule, guests at Club Gitmo receive medical and dental care equivalent to the level of care given our own military.

Guests at Gitmo get clothing, a pair of shoes and slippers, toiletries, towels, a new mattress, sheets, a prayer mat, a copy of the Quran and tasbih (prayer beads)..all provided by the largess of the infidel American taxpayers. An arrow pointing to Mecca is painted on the floor of their cells or their bed frames.

Residents get regular periods for recreation in several designated areas. They are treated much better than federal prisoners here in the USA.

In each area, there is a soccer ball and a black arrow pointing to Mecca just in case prayer time comes up during a match.

There have been numerous incidents involving assaults on guards..which is a favorite Club Gitmo tradition that involves pelting the guards with feces, urine and other substances.

The guards are strictly forbidden to physically retaliate or respond to verbal or physical abuse by Gitmo's residents.

At Club Gitmo, the guest is always right.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

President Expresses Strong Support for Baby Killing

Washington DC, Jan 23, 2011.  President Barack Hussein Obama,  D-Kenya, expressed his strong support for abortion rights today, on the 38th anniversary of the Supreme Court's pro-choice decision in Roe v. Wade.

This landmark ruling resulted in the killing of over 45 million babies in the USA, and a disproportionate number of them were black. The ruling has accomplished more than the Bloods or the Cripts ever could.

This total is greater than that of all the Americans who were ever victims of murder, died in highway accidents, died in wars, committed suicide, or ever died due to any cause other than illness, disease or old age.

"Government should not intrude on private family matters, if people want to murder their own children then it is their private business," Obama said in a statement, adding that he also supports policies to prevented "unintended pregnancies."

The president made his statement as thousands of abortion opponents planned annual March for Life rallies, with many hoping that the new Republican-run House will enact new restrictions on the practice.

"We are seeing a cultural shift toward protecting life and rolling back the tide of unrestricted abortions," said Charmaine Yoest, president of Americans United for Life.

Fortunately for Barack, his mother was Pro-Life

 Obama's statement:

Today marks the 38th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision that protects women's health and reproductive freedom, and affirms a fundamental principle: that government should not intrude on private family matters.

I am committed to protecting this constitutional right. I also remain committed to policies, initiatives, and programs that help prevent unintended pregnancies, support pregnant women and mothers, encourage healthy relationships, and promote adoption.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Olbermann fired by NBC; this time they really mean it!

"What did I do?"
Secaucus, NJ. Jan 21, 2011. Keith Olbermann, the radical leftwing MSNBC cable news host, has lost his job. His contract was abruptly terminated by parent company NBC.

Olbermann announced at the end of Friday's "Countdown" that he and MSNBC were parting ways, effective immediately.

MSNBC then released a statement:
"MSNBC and Keith Olbermann have parted ways. This time we really mean it. It won't matter how many petitions and angry emails all twelve of his viewers send us. We've had it with this goofball.".

According to MSNBC, "The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell" will move to 8 PM, with Ed Schultz moving to 10 PM. Rachel Maddow will remain at 9.

It is widely speculated that this move was made due to Olbermann's abysmal ratings. While Fox News' Bill O'Reilly was getting over 3 million viewers in the same time slot, Keith Olberman was down to only 1159 viewers. And only 350 of them were in the all important 25-54 age demographic group.

The Associated Press reported that Phil Griffin, MSNBC's president, would not comment on Olbermann's exit. But a spokesman did say that the acquistion of NBC Universal by Comcast, which received regulatory approval this week, had nothing to do with the decision.

Obama Hires Chinese Tutor for Youngest Daughter

Chinese President Hu Jinato agrees on hourly rate
Washington DC, Jan 21, 2011. President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, took advantage of the State Visit from China to help his daughter learn to speak Chinese.

His nine year old daughter Sasha wanted to test her developing Chinese skills this week while Hu Jintao was in town.

"The president pointed out last night at the state dinner that his daughter, Sasha, is a very young girl but her class is studying Chinese," Ben Rhodes, a White House deputy national security adviser, told a video conference with Chinese bloggers.

"She's under 10 years old and they're studying Chinese, and she wanted to have the chance to practice her Chinese with President Hu."

Sasha can order at Chinese restaurants now
Sasha attended Hu's welcoming ceremony on the White House lawn on Wednesday morning with friends and could be seen waving a Chinese flag excitedly as her father and Hu walked around the grounds.

The two presidents paused to visit when they reached the nine-year-old and her friends behind the rope line.

"Not every (child) has the opportunity to try out their first phrases of Chinese with the president of China, but she had that chance," Rhodes said.

Later, President Obama worked out an arrangement with President Hu to tutor his daughter, so she can become more proficient in speaking Mandarin Chinese.

The President agreed to pay Hu $16 per hour, and says he will use stimulus money to have him flown from Beijing to Washington once each week until the school year ends.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

President Obama Negotiates Major Deal With China..... We Get Pandas.... They Get Taiwan

Washington DC. Jan 20, 2011. The White House today announced that President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, has successfully negotiated a major agreement with China.

Under the terms of this new agreement China will keep the two giant pandas Mei Xiang and Tian Tian in their U.S. home for five more years, and the USA will allow China to invade and annex Taiwan.

Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar and his Chinese counterpart held a signing ceremony this morning at Washington, DC's National Zoo.

China will also send experts on panda mating and breeding to help the endangered great pandas produce another cub.  The pair have already produced a cub, Tai Shan, in 2005, who's now in China.  The pair of great pandas first came to the U.S. in 2000 on a ten-year loan from China.

In return, the U.S. donated ten-million-dollars for panda conservation in China, and will permit China to invade, occupy and annex the long disputed island nation of Taiwan.

China has agreed to treat the Taiwanese people fairly, and says they will attempt to minimize rapes and murders during the invasion process.

President Obama was thrilled about his diplomatic triumph, as he made this public announcement:

"The Chinese and American people work together and create new opportunities together every single day. Mr. President (Hu), today we’ve shown that our governments can work together as well, for our mutual benefit. And that includes this bit of news under a new agreement, our National Zoo will continue to dazzle children and visitors with the beloved giant Pandas." (Applause.)

(Editor's Note: President Obama didn't actually say "Applause"... that was just what was printed on the sign flashed at the audience.)

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, D-NY, told us "This is a win-win situation for everyone involved. Except the Taiwanese people, of course."

Taiwan, an island of 23 million off China's southern coast, was occupied by Japan for fifty years, from 1895 to 1945. In 1949, after Chiang Kai-shek's Nationalist Party lost its power struggle with the Communist Party in China, Chiang and his followers fled to Taiwan.

Since then, the Communist Chinese government on the mainland has claimed the island as "part of China," and has demanded it's return.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Unidentified Couple Sneaks into White House Party

Washington DC, Jan 19, 2011. For the second time in a little over a year, an unidentified couple without any proper credentials snuck into a White House function. Today's incident was very similar to the incident in Nov 2009 when Tareq and Michaele Salahi crashed a White House party to mingle with prominent Democrat lawmakers.

This time the gate crashers were noticeably younger, and had "a more ethnic appearance" in the words of the White House Head of Security, Brother Malik X. Brother Malik told us "I just assumed they were friends of the President and his wife. They looked like people from the hood in Chicago. We get a lot of them here lately."

Brother Malik X
This incident raises serious questions about how effective White House Security is especially since it's the second time this has happened since President Obama took office.

So far the intruders have been harmless gate crashers who just wanted to mingle with celebrities, but unless White House Security can do a better job than this, some tragedy could occur.

Hawaii governor can't find Obama birth certificate

Neil Abercrombie, D-Hawaii, needs Crest Whitestrips
Honolulu, Jan 19, 2011. Democrat Governor of Hawaii, Neil Abercrombie suggested in an interview published yesterday that a long-form, hospital-generated birth certificate for Barack Obama may not exist within the vital records maintained by the Hawaii Department of Health.

Abercrombie told the  Honolulu Star Advertiser he was searching within the Hawaii Department of Health to find definitive vital records that would prove Obama was born in Hawaii, because the continuing eligibility controversy could hurt the president's chances of re-election in 2012.

Donalyn Dela Cruz, Abercrombie's spokeswoman in Honolulu, ignored again today another in a series of repeated requests made for an interview with the governor.

Toward the end of the interview, the newspaper asked Abercrombie: "You stirred up quite a controversy with your comments regarding birthers and your plan to release more information regarding President Barack Obama's birth certificate. How is that coming?"

In his response, Abercrombie acknowledged the birth certificate issue will have "political implications" for the next presidential election "that we simply cannot have."

Suggesting he was still intent on producing more birth records on Obama from the Hawaii Department of Health vital records vault, Abercrombie told the newspaper there was a recording of the Obama birth in the state archives that he wants to make public.

Abercrombie did not report to the newspaper that he or the Hawaii Department of Health had found Obama's long-form, hospital-generated birth certificate. The governor only suggested his investigations to date had identified an unspecified listing or notation of Obama's birth that someone had made in the state archives.

"It was actually written, I am told, this is what our investigation is showing, it actually exists in the archives, written down," Abercrombie said.

For seemingly the first time, Abercrombie frankly acknowledged that presidential politics motivated his search for Obama birth record.

He implied that the failure to resolve the questions that remain unanswered about the president's birth and early life may damage his chance for re-election.

Governor Abercombie is a close friend of the Presidents, and is working hard to "clear his name" so this controversy won't harm President Obama's reelection efforts.

"I've tried my best" he told us, "but so far I haven't found anything that proves he was born in Hawaii. And it doesn't help that Kenya keeps bragging about one of their homeboys pulling a fast one on the USA and getting elected President."

President Suffering from Drastic Weight Loss

Washington DC, Jan 19, 2011. Their is a lot of speculation that the  real reason behind President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, losing so much weight is that he's secretly battling stomach parasites.

The pencil-thin president caught the parasites on a trip last year to Hawaii, where he and his family also vacationed over Christmas, according to top political insiders.

"Barack has wanted to keep the stomach parasites under the radar," revealed a close source.

Up to now, the President has refused medical treatment for these parasites, saying "parasites are my most loyal voters and supporters." So naturally he is reluctant to do anything that might harm them.

"There had been a public health warning about them in Hawaii when he caught them. He might have eaten something infected at a luau."

Concerned sources say extreme stress and a poor diet caused by his hectic schedule have contributed to the 6'2" president's skeletal look. There was a great deal of concern that his repeated failure to create jobs and improve the economy may be adding stress, and causing the parasite problem to get worse.

The First Lady, Michelle Obama is worried that he's close to a physical collapse," revealed an insider.

"I realize it's fashionable to be thin today, but no 6'2" man should have a 26" waistline. He appears to be wasting away," a prominent medical expert told us.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Self Serve Border Crossing to use "Honor System"

Mexican tourists coming for visit
Big Bend National Park, Jan 17, 2011.  Starting next year, visitors from San Antonio will be allowed to legally travel back and forth between the U.S and Mexico at the Boquillas crossing.

Tourists will be routinely boating across the Rio Grande for a burro ride and a beer, and Mexican residents crossing over to shop for groceries.

Alan Bersin, U.S. Customs and Border Protection commissioner, flew here by helicopter Thursday for a briefing on the crossing and to announce a scheduled opening date of April 2012.

Construction on facilities at the crossing, near the park's eastern edge and within sight of the Mexican town of Boquillas del Carmen, will begin this summer.

Self Serve
“This is a crossing that can be maintained in a secure way and can contribute to the cross-border life that people on both sides want,” Bersin said.

Across the Rio Grande, residents of Boquillas can only hope their town survives long enough to see the crossing reopened.

It will be an unmanned crossing with a facility where those entering the U.S. will electronically submit their documents to immigration officials at a remote location, Bersin said. The U.S. National Park Service will construct an information center and bathrooms, and the crossing itself will return to the boat crossing it historically has been.

Some locals have raised concerns about security while violence in Mexico brings negative attention to the border, and as if to drive the point home, a Mexican army patrol showed up on the riverbank opposite Bersin while he inspected the crossing site.

This self serve border crossing, which will operate on the honor system, will provide greater convenience for both Mexican and American tourists.  One Mexican tourist, Rosita Hernandez told us: "I love coming to USA for shopping. They have wonderful stores that only charge us four times as much as back home in Mexico."

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano thinks this is a great concept, and is a key part in making illegal visitors feel welcome here. "We can trust these undocumented aliens to visit our nation, enjoy the Texas sunshine, then go home," she told us.

"This is a wonderful way for us to improve relations with out neighbors south of the border," she went on to say.

"Many Mexicans feel safer and more secure shopping in the USA, due to rampant violence and crime in Mexico.

She said that while Mexico has a long way to go in combating organized crime and corruption, it has acknowledged the problem and taken some corrective action.

Besides, she said, having a legal rowboat crossing on a remote, narrow, knee-deep segment of the Rio Grande won't affect people or goods coming into the country illegally.

“People who act criminally will act criminally regardless if there's a lawful crossing here,” she said.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Democrats Will Ban Words For Public Safety

"Call me a dreamer"
Jan 16, 2011. In the wake of Saturday's tragedy in Tucson, Arizona, in which 6 people died and 20 others were seriously injured, including Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, D-AZ, Rep. Chellie Pingree, D-ME, called for more civil political discourse by challenging Republicans to change the name of their health care repeal legislation:

"The bill, titled the ‘Repeal the Job-Killing Health Care Law Act,' was set to come up for a vote this week, but in the wake of Gabby's shooting, it has been postponed at least until next week," she wrote in a blog post on The Huffington Post.

"Don't get me wrong - I'm not suggesting that the name of that one piece of legislation somehow led to the horror of this weekend - but is it really necessary to put the word "killing" in the title of a major piece of legislation?

I don't think that word is in there by accident - my Republican friends know as well as anyone the power of words to send a message. But in this environment and at this moment in our nation's history, it's not the message we should be sending."

Democrat lawmakers are convinced the real problem isn't the criminals who commit crimes, but the "hate words" that incite them to commit those crimes. So a new bill will be drafted to outlaw the use of certain very highly charged "hate words."

This new law should dramatically reduce violent crime, since mentally unbalanced people won't hear these words, then they won't be motivated to assault, rape or kill others.

Here are a few of the 923 words that this law will ban, and the suggested replacement words:

ATTACK                                  INCIDENT
BLOOD                               BODY FLUID   
BUTCHER                       MEAT CUTTER
HITS                                          BASES
KILLER                                  SUSPECT
PUNCH                             FRUIT DRINK
RAPE                                  BAD THING
SLAM DUNK                         BALL JAM
SLAPSHOT                      FAST SWING
SLICE                    LEMON-LIME DRINK
SMACK                                     HEROIN
TARGET                                       GOAL
WOUND                                    MISHAP
PUSH and PULL will be removed from all doors 

President needs Jumbotron to get Applause

Jan 16, 2011. President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, cannot speak before an audience without using a teleprompter. Anytime he tries, he stutters, stumbles, and "misspeaks."

This fact is pretty well documented. He even brought his teleprompter when he paid a visit to Graham Road Elementary School in Falls Church, Virginia a year ago.

But now it seems it isn't enough to make certain that the President "gets it right," it is now critical that the audience gets it right too.

Last Thursday, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said that they were surprised by the applause at the Memorial Pep rally on Wednesday for the victims of the Tucson shootings.
I will say that I read the speech several times and thought that there wouldn’t be a lot of applause if any. I think many of us thought that. But I think there was a celebration, again, of the lives of those who had been impacted. Not just at that grocery store but throughout the country. And I think that, if that is part of the healing process, then that’s a good thing.
The White House shouldn't have been that surprised that President Obama was getting cheers and applause during the Memorial Pep Rally, since they were flashing an "APPLAUSE" sign at the audience during his speech.

The excuse will probably be that these weren’t stage directions, just merely the assumption that the president would have to pause while the expected applause happened.

But, if you put “APPLAUSE” into the text on a Jumbotron, a sufficient number of people in the audience will probably applaud.

And just in case you missed the Memorial Pep Rally, but still want to pick-up a Tee-shirt, no problem: Ebay has you covered.
For just $22.90, plus $2.79 for shipping you can have your very own Tucson Memorial Pep Rally tee shirt, complete with the Obama 2012 campaign slogan printed across the front of it.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Solar Panel Company Takes $43 million in Stimulus Money, then lays off 800 workers and moves to China

"Pack it up, we're moving to China"
Beijing, Jan 15, 2011. After taking at least $43 million in assistance from the State of Massachusetts,  Evergreen Solar has changed their plans.
They will be closing their factory, in Devens, Mass in September, and laying off 800 workers.
And then they will move all operations to China.

The chief executive of Evergreen, said falling prices for panels led to the closing, and they will be laying off the 800 workers by the end of March and shifting production to a joint venture with a Chinese company in central China. Evergreen cited the much higher government support available in China.

"It's hard to top China. Their workers get paid almost nothing, and the unions never file grievances. It's like a paradise for industrial corporations. You really gotta be nuts to operate a manufacturing company in the USA, with our high labor cost and incredibly high taxes."

President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, said he was disappointed by the news. "I really hoped we could create some jobs in the USA, but at least we are creating jobs in China with taxpayer incentives. As a citizen of the world, I see value in this too."

President Obama expressed his frustration with his failure to create jobs. "Look, I've been busting my ass trying to create American jobs. Spending over $3 trillion so far, and I have nothing to show for it."

"If I don't turn this thing around soon, I could lose the primary race to Dennis Kucinich," he told us. "I promised shovel ready jobs, and instead of creating those I ended up losing 3 million more jobs. And I can't keep blaming President Bush forever. Sooner or later, the voters might catch on and hold me accountable."

Chinese manufacturers have been able to push prices down sharply because they receive considerable help from the Chinese government and state-owned banks, and because manufacturing costs are generally lower in China.

“While the United States and other Western industrial economies are beneficiaries of rapidly declining installation costs of solar energy, we expect the United States will continue to be at a disadvantage from a manufacturing standpoint,” he said.

Even though Evergreen opened its Devens plant, with all new equipment, only in 2008, it began talks with Chinese companies in early 2009. In September 2010, the company opened its factory in Wuhan, China, and will now rely on that operation. 

Government Cracks Down on Illegal Immigration.

London, Jan 15, 2011. A nine year old British boy was denied a visa to visit Disney World when U.S. Immigration officials ruled he was a national security threat.
British Civil servants Kathy and Edward Francis planned to surprise their grandson Micah Strachan with the holiday of a lifetime to Florida in February.
They were only going to tell Micah about it when they took him to the airport on February 19 for the flight to the US.

They had already spent more than £1,500 (which is $2,380) on plane tickets and had been organizing the trip for months.

Mickey and Minnie are now safe
But this week US Embassy officials denied the schoolboy a visa to enter the US.

They said there was a risk he would not leave the US at the end of his holiday and refused his application under Section 214 (b) of the Immigration and Nationality Act.

The Obama Administration feared that the child could overstay his visa, and commit terrorist acts in the USA, much like the 911 hijackers did.

Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano told us "it's better to be safe than sorry."

Ms. Napolitano would not comment  on whether similar standards would be applied to illegal immigrants from Mexico, or the Middle East.