Camp Gitmo Celebrates Ninth Anniversary

Sheik Khalid and Richard Reed enjoy breakfast together

Guantanamo, Cuba. Jan 24, 2011. Camp X-Ray, or "Club Gitmo" as it is known to terrorists, will celebrate it's ninth anniversary this year.

This resort hotel, designed to house dangerous terrorists while they awaited their trials at military tribunals that never came, is reputed to be one of the finest vacation spots in the world.

The U.S. military has installed satellite television service and distributing Sudoku puzzles in Guantanamo prison cells even as President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya,  works towards his goal of emptying them of detainees.

The various amenities and amusements are designed to provide mental stimulation for the remaining captives, whom human rights monitors and defense lawyers have said were being driven mad by years of isolation at the U.S. prison for suspected terrorists.

The lucky residents of this resort are fed 3 square meals per day of strictly halal food and given the opportunity to perform their daily prayers, to fast and to perform terawih prayers during Ramadan.

The food served to the residents of Club Gitmo is better in many cases than the food being served to our troops in the Armed Services.

Congressional decree prevents the military from serving MRE’s (Meals Ready to Eat, vacuum packed sealed food bags served to U.S. troops) to detainees because it would be considered "abuse."

The President has many Muslim friends

Our men and women in Iraq and Afghanistan would be proud and happy to know that the people that were shooting at them are now being fed better than they are...

Here's a sample halal menu, served just last week:

*Orange Glazed Chicken
*Rice Pilaf
*Steamed Peas & Mushrooms
*Fruit Roupee

In addition, on Ramadan the guests at Club Gitmo are served lamb, dates and honey as part of their holiday meals...with extra large portions to make up for the daily fast.

What's more, during Ramadan,medical personnel are constantly in attendance to monitor the prisoners and make sure that no one gets ill or dehydrated during the Ramadan fast. As a general rule, guests at Club Gitmo receive medical and dental care equivalent to the level of care given our own military.

Guests at Gitmo get clothing, a pair of shoes and slippers, toiletries, towels, a new mattress, sheets, a prayer mat, a copy of the Quran and tasbih (prayer beads)..all provided by the largess of the infidel American taxpayers. An arrow pointing to Mecca is painted on the floor of their cells or their bed frames.

Residents get regular periods for recreation in several designated areas. They are treated much better than federal prisoners here in the USA.

In each area, there is a soccer ball and a black arrow pointing to Mecca just in case prayer time comes up during a match.

There have been numerous incidents involving assaults on guards..which is a favorite Club Gitmo tradition that involves pelting the guards with feces, urine and other substances.

The guards are strictly forbidden to physically retaliate or respond to verbal or physical abuse by Gitmo's residents.

At Club Gitmo, the guest is always right.