Friday, January 7, 2011

Rappers Appalled by Profanity In Mark Twain Novels

Washington DC,  Jan 7,  2011. Snoop Dog, Kayne West, Jay Z and Ludicris met with President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, today to protest the rampant use of vulgarity in several Mark Twain novels.

President meeting with some rap fans
"The problem is Twain's excessive use of the N word, which could make this racial slur acceptable to impressionable young children," Jay Z told us.

"It's not like this is serious rap music," Snoop Dog added, "it's just some silly book."

The president sympathized with the rappers, and later met with a group of their fans to lay out his plan for fixing the situation.

"Clearly, Mark Twain was a vulgar and profane writer who somehow ended up on every school's reading list. We can fix this by either removing the offensive words and phrases, or just by banning these books outright" the President told us.

Mark Twain was a 19th Century writer best known for his novels "Tom Sawyer" and "Huckleberry Finn."  

His books are well regarded by white people, because he frequently insults African-Americans and Native Americans in them..

His real name was Samuel Clemmons, and he probably adopted the psuedonom "Mark Twain" because he didn't want to be held accountable for spreading so much filth and vulgarity.

However, if we simply replace every use of the "N" word with "African-American" then these books can probably still be enjoyed by impressionable young children.

Rap singer Nas, who wasn't present at today's meeting, told us that it is his fervent hope that this filth can be cleaned up from our libraries and schools.


  1. This is a joke, right? Like in The Onion or something. In the book to which they refer, Nigger Jim was Huck's best friend and traveling companion whom he treated at times like an equal...which is probably why white shcools banned it from their library shelves the first time. Get a grip, people.

  2. Yes, this was written to be satirical. But there is truth in what I wrote. The same people who object to "bad words" in literature have absolutely no problem with "bad words" in pop music.

    The idea was to demonstrate the hypocrisy of the censors. I suppose I didn't do a very good job of it since you missed the point completely.