George Soros Calls Al Gore "Bumbling Idiot"

George Soros isn't happy about Al Gore

Asuncion Paraguay, Nov 17 2010. Global financier George Soros, while on a business meeting in Paraguay, blamed Al Gore for "inventing the internet, and screwing up my entire life."

"That bumbling idiot should have left well enough alone," Soros told our financial correspondent Carlos Santiago. "He invents this internet garbage, and the next thing you know any dope with a computer and an internet connection can find out all about my shady past."

"I sick and tired of this crap," Soros continued. "No one would know about me collaborating with the Nazis to round up Jews durring the war if that bastard Gore hadn't invented the internet!"

"And it doesn't stop there. I can't even fart without someone posting the time, place, and approximate smell on the internet. This internet is interfering with my business transactions with President Barack Obama, the CFR, the Bildenberg Group, and all my currency manipulation schemes. Gore took money out of my pocket by inventing this damn internet thing. That idiot owes me an apology."

Gore denies all charges

When Al Gore heard about Soros' comments he vehemently denied any malicious intent. "My internet invention has benefited all of mankind," Gore told us. "I created a global information highway that has done a lot more good than harm."

"I cannot help it if the internet also enables people to find out a few embarrassing things about George Soros' past. It's just the nature of the beast. Look, I understand how he feels. If it wasn't for the internet the news about me trying to get that happy ending from the masseuse would never have gotten out. So I'm a victim too."

Former Vice President Gore was referring to an incident at a massage parlor that resulted in him being charged with sexual assault in Portland Oregon in 2006.

Eventually the charge was dropped, but it ended up costing him his marriage and a $68 million divorce settlement.

"Well, he's still a total idiot," Mr. Soros told us, after hearing Gore's statement. "What sort of moron gets breast implants after he loses an election to cheer him up? If anyone needed cheering up it was me. I wasted $28 million trying to get that dope elected in 2000."