Friday, November 5, 2010

BREAKING NEWS: Keith Olbermann Caught Telling Truth! Suspended from MSNBC!

NYC Nov 5, 2010. MSNBC superstar Keith Olbermann was suspended without pay when it was discovered that he accurately reported that the Democrats had lost 7 seats in the Senate and 60 seats in the House. 

MSNBC TV President Phil Griffin told us off the record, "I became aware of Keith's lapse in judgment late last night. Mindful of NBC News policy and standards, I have suspended him indefinitely without pay for accurately reporting a big Republican win."

In order to soften the blow, and to enhance Mr. Olbermann's standing in the radical community, MSNBC made an official announcement saying that Olbermann was "suspended because he had made several political contributions to political candidates  in violation of our ethics policy." Which would be technically impossible, since MSNBC has no ethics policy.

"This is an open and shut case," Mr. Griffin told us, "Keith knows better than this. He simply isn't allowed to tell the truth. If all our on air personnel did that, then we'd be no better than Fox News."

Despite this, there were rumors that the actual cause of Olbermann's suspension involved his minuscule ratings. Mr Griffin denied this. 

He said "While it's true Keith's ratings have slumped from a few hundred viewers down to a few dozen now, this has nothing to do with this action. If we cared about ratings, then Rachel Maddow and Chris Matthews would have been fired long ago."

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