Dec. 30, 2010. President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, has proposed broad tax increases on unhealthy items consumed by poor people. If Congress passes these initiatives poor people can expect huge tax hikes on tobacco products, alcohol, snack foods, and other unhealthy products routinely consumed by those living below the poverty level.
"By increasing the prices of these things we can curb consumption, and thereby improve the health of poor people in America" he told us via phone from his resort hotel in Hawaii. "And if they live longer, they will enjoy receiving more entitlements from the government."
Bill Gates, spokesman for the new group "Billionaires For Obama" echoed the President's thoughts: "We support higher taxes across the board for both the poor and the middle class."
"You can even raise our taxes if you want, because we don't pay any taxes anyway. We hire smart Jewish lawyers and accountants so we can legally evade paying taxes."
Gates went on to explain that "We didn't get rich by handing all our money over to the government. That's something only fools and Republicans do."
Michael Bloomberg, another member of the group added, "Poor people need to stop drinking and smoking. So they can enjoy welfare life longer. Raising their taxes just helps these people quit their bad habits and start living a healthier lifestyle."
Warren Buffett added, "This is especially important since President Obama has created so many more poor people in America. And thanks to the Obama economic policies, much of the middle class will soon be joining this group in poverty."
Mr. Buffett emphasized that "President Obama has really done a spectacular job of destroying the middle class. If unemployment trends continue for a few more months, there will be more people in poverty, and these are always the easiest people for us to control."
Wall Street financial wizard George Soros pointed out the financial opportunity these new taxes will bring to poor people.
"The poor should do like am doing and invest a few hundred million in shorting tobacco and alcohol stocks. If they play their cards right, they won't be poor for very long."
"This is really a wonderful thing President Obama is doing for America. With any luck we should have 200 million poor people by the end of President Obama's first term."
Mr. Soros said he is willing to spend "whatever it takes" to get President Obama reelected in 2012.