President Sends Holiday Greetings to Close Friends

North Korean Marxist Dictator Kim Jong il and President Obama

Wash. DC. Dec 4, 2010.  President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, sent his holiday greetings out to his closest friends abroad.

President Obama directed this to "friends who seek to bing hope and change" to other parts of the world.

The group of three Dictators that President Obama calls his "Axis of Friendship" is comprised of the heads of state of North Korea, Venezuela and Iran.

The President sent his holiday greetings out early this year, due to his hectic vacation schedule later this month, which will include a lavish Hawaian vacation to visit the grave of his maternal grandmother's grave site. Madelyn Dunham died while Obama was busy campaigning in 2008, and he never got a chance to attend her funeral.

President with close friend Hugo Chavez

In his official statement, that the President read off his teleprompter, he said: "I share a dream with Kim, Hugo and Mahmoud to make America a better world citizen."

"Only when the USA atones for the wrongs we have committed, and made full restitution, will we be accepted as a member in good standing of the global community," he told us.

The President was careful not to offend any others by specifically calling these "holiday greetings" and not Christmas greetings. "That's the type of blunder President Bush was famous for," White House spokesman Robert Gibbs told us.

The President indicated that he was ready to prepare a $2 Billion taxpayer funded stimulus package to bail out North Korea, Iran and Venezuala from their current economic problems.

"Mahmoud and Me"

However, aides were quick to reminded the President that only North Korea needs bailing out, since both Venezuela and Iran were oil rich nations.

"My bad," he said, "it's this damn teleprompter acting up again. Make sure we get it fixed. We can bail out North Korea, and just send a lot of development aid to Venezuela and Iran then."

President Obama then remembered that "Just last week I imposed a seven year ban on American domestic drilling. This should help both Venezuela and Iran by stimulating their oil exports."