House Democrats Unveil New Plan to Balance Budget

Washington DC, Oct 27, 2010. Speaker of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi D-CA, will be announcing a new plan to balance the Federal budget. "We will introduce the "Let's Get Prices Up Act of 2010" designed to encourage more inflation, which will help balance the budget by boosting Federal sales and excise tax collections." Pelosi said.

This ingenious plan has quietly been in effect for the past four years, ever since the Democrats took control of Congress following the 2006 Congressional elections. But Speaker Pelosi wants to leverage her accomplishments by codifying it into law.

"Look how well our plan for inflation has worked so far," Pelosi said. "When I became Speaker gasoline was $1.21 a gallon. Today it's $2.85 per gallon. That extra $1.64 all gets taxed and the money helps your government pay their bills."

"One pack of Newports, please"

Ms. Pelosi cited several other examples of how well the Democrat plan for higher prices has worked so far. "Take cigarettes for example," she continued "Thanks to us Democrats, we've got them up to around $10 a pack in many states.

And around $8.32 of that is pure tax, which goes directly to the bottom line of fiscal responsibility."

But the Democrat plan doesn't just stop at luxury items like cigarettes, lottery tickets, and beer, it also covers the more important category of essentials purchases like food, electricity and cable TV, and cell phones.

"Has anyone noticed how we have quietly ratcheted up the price of groceries?" Pelosi added. "Before 2007 you could buy a loaf of bread for $0.79. Today.... two, three bucks, something like that. I'm not certain of the exact price because I get to eat for free, but the point is, higher prices mean higher sales taxes. So everyone wins!"

"I think the whole problem we Democrats have is that we often fail to publicize our accomplishments," the Speaker emphasized. 

"We need to get the word out to the voters about all the positive things we do to increase government revenue and which provides desperately needed funds for vital government programs like aid for Hamas and funding for ACORN," Ms. Pelosi added.