Democrats Gear Up For Election

Senator Harry Reid D-NV salutes America

Searchlight, NV. Oct 27,2010. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is taking nothing for granted this time. We spoke to Reid while he's home on the campaign trail, working hard to keep his seat in the Senate. 

Reid is facing an especially difficult reelection race this time, because too many Nevada voters are aware of his record. 

"I blame those damn tea-baggers for that," a visibly shaken Reid emphasized.. 

"This election is the most important election of our lifetimes" Reid told us. 

"The future of America is at stake this time. Either we will go forward with the Democrat program of hope and change, or we will be dragged back to the dark ages of Republican racism and hate."

"Those tea baggers are nothing more than a modern day KKK, and when we win this election we will pass laws outlawing their style of disruptive speech that incites people to demand lower taxes."

The Democrats feel the stakes are too high this time to coast to victory. They need to work hard to keep the "Obama Momentum Going." 

Senator Reid reminded us that... "There are still lots of industries that aren't socialized yet. Our work isn't finished. We were just getting started digging America out of the mess President Bush put us in."

"This time we are pulling out all stops" Reid told us, as he went on to outline the innovative ten point plan the Democrats will be using next week to "Frankenize" the election:

1. SEIU voting machine technicians to make sure everything is on the up and up
2. Free food for voters if they vote Democrat
3. A wall to wall media blitz by major networks shilling for us
4. Union Members getting gift cards if their shop steward verifies they voted right
5. Free cigarettes and lottery tickets for minority voters who see things our way
6. Free gas cards for voters who vote for more hope and change
7. Absenttee Ballot Frauds so the good voters can vote twice
8. Disqualifying Military Voters. If they had any brains they wouldn't be in the Army.
9. Black Panther Poll Watchers to keep the Teabaggers honest!
10. Count every vote! Even for dead people, convicted felons and illegal aliens

Missing ballot boxes being prepared

In additon, over 12,000 "extra" ballot boxes crammed full of straight party Democrat ballots are being prepared for use if needed in close races.

These ballot boxes will miraculously be "found" in any race where the Democrat loses by less than a 3% margin. 

This technique worked extremely well in the 2008 Franken election, hence the popular phrase among DC insiders "to Frankenize an election."

And if that wasn't enough, ACORN has been hired by the Federal Government to help make sure that there are no surprises next Tuesday.