Saturday, October 30, 2010

CNN Launches "CNN Newshotties"

Atlanta GA, Oct. 30, 2010. After many years of taking a back seat to FoxNews, CNN is finally fighting back!

The Cable News Network (CNN) will launch their own version of Fox's News Babes starting Jan. 1, 2011. And they have recruited some of the heaviest hitters in TV news casting to fill out their bench.

CNN will load up on sexy and sultry news casting babes to tip the scales back in their favor.

The CNN NewsNewshotties will feature some very talented and popular media stars. The initial group will be comprised of Whoopi Goldberg, Lynne Stewart, Rosie O'Donnel,. Andrea Dworkin, Janet Nepalitano, Helen Thomas, Sonia Sotomayer and Janet Reno.

Negotiations are still underway to get Barbra Streisand and Chelsea Clinton for the new team, and "money is no object" according to CNN  Director of Programming Janelle Rodriguez. Superstar Chistianne Amanpour is scheduled to join the team in the early spring after she completes her current assignment.

It was no small feat coaxing leftwing media superstar Helen Thomas out of retirement for this gig.

Ms. Thomas, who is widely regarded as the most attractive liberal woman in the media today, will anchor the group, and draw in millions of new viewers.

CNN wanted to cover all the bases with this move, so they made sure they signed up Rosie O'Donnell to lure in lesbian, gay and transgender viewers.

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