"Don't get me wrong," the Goldman Sachs spokesman told us, "Obama has done everything we asked him to do, and we are very grateful for the bailouts and tax breaks. But he may not be electable in 2012, due to his poor recordas President."
"We need someone in the race who will win the election, and continue all the great government benefits we have been accustomed to getting."
The problem for Goldman Sachs is that there is no obvious replacement for Obama. At least not one that could be so easily controlled by the Wall Street giant.
"We were seriously considering Hillary Clinton. She shares our views about Corpocracy, and her husband Bill would be a great asset to the team. But she may be too old for the job since she'll be 65 on election day. The hag factor might be too hard for her to overcome," the spokesman told us.
But all of Wall Street isn't united on this idea of replacing Obama next year. Both George Soros and Warren Buffett say they want to stick with Obama. "He's been very good to us," Mr. Buffett said. "And we cannot abandon him now simply because all his policies have failed."
Jeffrey Immelt, the CEO of GE, added "Sure Obama has had a few problems with job creation and the economy tanking so badly. And sure, prices are higher, the debt is soaring, and unemployment has reached modern records. But this guy has been great for us. Last year GE earned $14 billion in profits, and paid absolutely no federal corporate tax. And we have Obama to thank for that. We owe him."
"If the people actually blame Barack for the failure of his policies, then we could be in deep trouble next year. The key will be in convincing voters that everything Obama botched was really Bush's fault."
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