Metrosexuals Form Anti-Defamation League

"Does my hair look OK?"

San Francisco Jun 22, 2011. Former Senator John Edwards, who heads the National Metrosexual Association, has announced the formation of the Metrosexual Anti-Defamation League (MADL) to combat rampant bias against Metrosexuals.

The MADL will be led by Edwards close friend and fellow metrosexual John Kerry.

You may recall that starting around 1994 there was a massive movement of liberal males from the "straight" column to the "metrosexual" column, which was pretty much a halfway house on the sexual spectrum.

The movement was believed to have started in Europe.

John Edwards, John Kerry, Al Gore, and Howard Dean all proudly declared themselves to be "metrosexuals." To his credit, former President Bill Clinton never did jump on the metrosexual bandwagon. This can probably be attributed to his redneck upbringing, because in that culture sexual ambiguity is not tolerated. For the same reason there are very few African-American metrosexuals, although some do exist.

There is no record of any Republicans or Conservatives exhibiting metrosexual behavior, although many have speculated about Lindsay Graham's status.

But they weren't just politicians, there were quite a few in the entertainment industry (Brad Pitt, Ashton Kucher, Ryan Seacrest, Justin Timberlake) and even some famous athletes (David Beckham, as an example).

Metrosexual males were characterized by their adoption of many female traits, like carrying purses, wearing clam digger pants, wearing open toed sandals, and the extensive (even obsessive) use of hand lotions and cosmetics. They are compulsive about their appearance and they prefer unisex brand frangrances like Calvin Klein.

Most Metrosexuals usually own a complete boxed set of Will and Grace DVDs.

John and John share a tender moment

While the fad peaked by 2007, and actually began receding since then, there are still several million metrosexual males walking around, and they are getting fed up with normal people poking fun at them.

And in response to this the National Metrosexual Association has decided to launch the Metrosexual Anti-Defamation League to combat these prejudices.

The head of the new civil rights group, John Kerry, says that the MADL will vigorously oppose all forms of bias against Metrosexuals.

John Kerry says he is planning a "Metrosexual Pride Parade" in order to publicize their plight.