Monday, December 19, 2011

Sad News: World's Best Golfer Dead at 69

Kim ponders whether to use a 7 iron or a 9 iron
Pyongyang, Dec 19, 2011. Brutal Marxist Dictator and North Korean Golf legend Kim Jong Il has passed at age 69 due to fatigue and strain.

While many people were aware of his being the dictator of North Korea, not many outsiders were aware of his prowess playing golf.

Back in 1994, the Dear Leader set a record that is likely to stand forever. Playing his very first round of golf on Pyongyang's regulation PGA-style 18-hole course, Kim Jong Il scored 11 holes-in-one while scoring 38 strokes under par for the game.

Seventeen of his bodyguards were on hand to witness and verify the score.

This was seventeen years ago, when Kim was 52 years old. Even more impressive, Kim stood just 5-foot-3, yet he was able to overpower a course as long as any ever played in major championship history. Who knows how good Kim could have been if he had taken up the sport earlier? Who knows how many times he bested 38 under in the 17 years since his first round?

Kim Jong Eun - "Dear Little Fatboy"
Kim's simple approach to the game that will be his enduring legacy. While other great golfers have written books full of tips, tricks and swing thoughts, Kim had the best approach to conquering the sport of golf: Have your national propaganda department lie for you.

Sadly, the golfing world outside of North Korea has yet to accept this historic round of golf as legitimate.

North Korea has announced that the official funeral for Kim will be held on December 28. Heir apparent, his 28 year old son Kim Jong-eun has been named as the head of the funeral committee.

1 comment:

  1. You should post that video of Kim Jong IL singing, "I'm So Ronlry", from that flick, Team America: World Poiice.