Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Obama Stops Blaming Bush; Starts Blaming Romney

The President also blames the Founding Fathers
Washington DC Mar 6, 2012. In a sudden and unexpected change of policy, President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, has decided to stop blaming former President Bush, and start blaming future President Romney for all his policy failures.

This policy shift was made because recent focus group polling suggests that "blaming Bush" was no longer working for the President.

"Former President Bush has been gone for almost four years now, and he had absolutely nothing to do with any of the President's policy failures, so blaming him constantly was starting to wear very thin," a White House spokesman told us.

"He really wore that one out."

Several plans were considered by the White House reelection team, and the plan to blame Romney narrowly beat out the plan to blame Rush Limbaugh. But only by a hair. There are still several close Obama advisers who think blaming Limbaugh would have been a much smarter strategy.

"We needed a new, more modern and more plausible direction. Then, the president approved the idea of blaming all his failures on the next President Mitt Romney instead," he continued on the condition of anonymity.

"One thing for certain, the President will never assume any blame for any of his failed policies. It is a given that someone else will always be responsible when President Obama screws up. This is the custom in his native Kenya. The chief always blames the former chief, or someone in another village."

Recently, President Obama sought to deflect growing Republican attacks over rising gas prices at the pump, by blaming them on a mix of factors beyond his control, including tensions with Iran, hot demand from China, India and other emerging economies, and Wall Street speculators taking advantage of the uncertainty. Then he decided to add in "the biggest factor was Republicans obstructing our policies, like Mitt Romney will do."

President Obama doesn't think that banning drilling sites, vetoing the pipeline, devaluing the dollar, making it impossible to build new refineries, or blocking the construction of new nuclear power plants on vague environmental grounds had anything to do with higher prices for gasoline.

"All of those factors are really minor" the President said. "The real problem is Republicans blocking my much needed agenda, and that includes future President Romney.

President Romney thanking campaign workers next November
"It's the easiest thing in the world (to) make phony election-year promises about lower gas prices," Obama said, offering his most comprehensive rebuttal yet of the intensifying Republican criticism.

"What's harder is to make a serious, sustained commitment to tackle a problem that may not be solved in one year or one term or even one decade," he said. "We simply must stop using all fossil fuel. It's the only viable solution for our problem."

The President then said "if everyone bought a Chevy Volt, then we'd almost be there."

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