Sunday, February 27, 2011

Kate and William invite butcher and baker to royal wedding... but not President Obama and First Lady

Prince William and Kate Middleton to wed Apr 29
London, Feb 27, 2011. The upcoming Royal Wedding for Prince William and Kate Middleton will be held without the presence of President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, and his wife.

The Royal Couple had decided to limit the guest list to "people we like," so the Obamas have not been invited to attend the event.

"We tried hard to like the Obamas, but after they returned the bust of Sir Winston Churchill, and then gave mummy that iPod with all those dreadful gansta rap songs on it, we really had no choice," Prince William told us.

"This is my wedding, and it's my special day" Ms. Middleton told us. "The very last thing I want is these loud rude Kenyans ruining it with there Electric Slide and Boogie Woogie dances."

It probably didn't help the Obama case either when President Obama gave Russian Premier Vladmir Putin the British atomic bomb serial numbers, in an effort to increase the Obama poll ratings in Moscow.

But plenty of Bucklebury residents will rub shoulders with royalty and celebrities such as David and Victoria Beckham after receiving a gold-embossed invitation from the couple. 

Martin Fidler, Butcher

While the Obamas will not be present, Martin Fidler, the butcher, and his wife Sue are said they were delighted to be on the guest list.

“We’re really looking forward to the day,” said Mr Fidler. “We’ve known Kate’s mother Carole for years, before she met Kate’s father Mike. They’ve got on with their lives, built up a good business and all their children are a credit to them.”
 

John Haley, Innkeeper

Ryan Naylor, the village postman, is also on the list, along with John Haley, landlord of the Old Boot Inn where the couple sometimes enjoy a quiet drink.

Mr Haley told us he is really looking forward to attending the Royal Wedding. "This will be a real thrill for me and my entire family," he told us.


Chan Shingadia and Husband Hash
Chan Shingadia and her husband Hash, who run the local convenience store, have already accepted their invitation.

Mrs Shingadia, 42, said: “We’ve really got to know Kate. She is really caring. She is like a human being, not a celebrity, and she is always a good customer. William is very down to earth”.

The shopkeepers have become so familiar with the couple’s tastes that they ensure they are always stocked up on Haribo sweets, which they both like, and mint Vienetta, which is the Prince’s favourite icecream.

Not invited, and not too happy about it

Miss Middleton and Prince William are anxious for their guest list to reflect their private mix of friends and acquaintances as well as fellow royals, celebrities and foreign dignitaries.

They said they don't want "low life Kenyan trash ruining their event of a lifetime." A harsh statement, perhaps, but it is their wedding after all.

The wedding will take place on April 29.

2 comments:

  1. IF YOU POST ANYTHING FUNNIER THAT THIS I WILL HAVE AN ASTHMATIC ATTACK FROM LAUGHING SO HARD. I KNOW SOME LBS WILL BE ROOTING FOR YOU TO DO JUST THAT SO I CAN CACK. AS THEY SAY IN EAST HARLEM... GAY ESSEN DRECK, LIBS !!!

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  2. Excellent post!Frankly I don't blame the Royal couple for not inviting the Obamas. At the rate he's going, Barach Hussein Obama will be declared persona non grata even in his own limited circle of socialists. Nobobdy wants to associate with a failure.

    Seriously though, I love the way you "spin" a story.

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