President Obama Stops 13,000 Illegals At Border

Man tortures small animal with hair dryer

Washington DC, Feb 18, 2012. President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, has prevented over 13,000 dangerous illegal hair dryers from entering the country, the Department of Homeland Security boasted recently.

"U.S. Customs and Border Protection seized thousands of hair dryers recently that were determined to constitute a “substantial product hazard” under U.S. law, for failing to have adequate immersion protection," DHS announced.

"The potentially dangerous hair dryers were identified through a nationwide targeting operation by the CBP Import Safety Commercial Targeting and Analysis Center (CTAC)."

CBP seized the hair dryers at the ports of Los Angeles (9,768 hair dryers) and Miami (3,614) because they "lacked shock protection for consumers" in the event of the hair dryers' immersion in water.

Despite this, Illegal aliens still may pass through our borders undisturbed. Since they represent "much needed cheap labor" or "potential Democrat voters" based on who you ask. DHS was very clear on this point. "The seizure of these illegal hair dryers should not discourage undocumented future citizens from coming here for our generous healthcare benefits."

The importer of these hair dryers, Lopez & Hernandez LLC, has admitted that it was a mistake to try to sneak them in using conventional shipping methods. "Next time, we will pay people to carry them across the border," they told us.

The illegal hair dryer wears loud and gaudy patterns

The leftwing activist groups and the mainstream media are still insisting that these should not be called "illegal dryers."

"These are not illegal hair dryers," we have been told.  "These are undocumented beauty accessories."  

ACORN will register them to vote, and San Francisco will become a sanctuary beauty school for them.  They will enjoy the same rights and privileges as the so called legal hair dryers have.