Monday, January 23, 2012

President Obama Creates Thousands of New Jobs

Woman faints when hearing Obama speak
Washington DC, Jan 23, 2012. True to his word President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, has finally gotten around to creating some jobs as he promised he would four years ago.

The President admitting that he should have done this sooner, told us "better late than never."

The Obama 2012 Election Campaign has announced they will be hiring 3,500 paid fainters for the upcoming election campaign. 

During the 2008 Presidential Campaign, the paid fainters worked out pretty well for the President. Whenever Obama spoke before a crowd, his campaign managers would hire local fainters to swoon and faint.

This would invariably make the local news and end up on YouTube as proof that Barack Obama was a spellbinding and powerful speaker who could motivate the masses. In fact, it worked so well that many non-paid amateurs started fainting too, probably due to the power of suggestion.

Applications for the job will be accepted by local SEIU offices, and the candidates will be tested for the spontaneity and sincerity of their fainting and swooning skills.  The job pays $13.85 per hour, and all applicants who are hired must join the IBFS&S, The International Brotherhood of Fainters, Swooners, and Sycophants, Local 342, which is associated with SEIU.

"Always faint after the President makes a good point"
The new hires will be given a three week training course, taught by professional behavioral scientists, in which they will learn basic fainting and swooning techniques.

It is essential that the fainting and swooning appear to be naturally induced by the powerful speaking skills of the President.

Many of the better fainters from the last election campaign went on to careers as Social Workers or Democrat Congressional staff members.

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