John Kerry Nominates Himself for Another Purple Heart

"$300,000 worth of cosmetic surgery ruined!"

Boston, Jan 24, 2012. Former 2004 Democrat Presidential candidate Sen. John F. Kerry, D-MA, showed up at a White House event honoring the Boston Bruins yesterday sporting a broken nose and two black eyes.

President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, was hosting the event to honor the Bruins for winning the Stanley Cup last June. Senator Kerry, a Bostonian himself, is a longtime Bruin fan.

The 68 year senior citizen athlete said he was in "playing ice hockey with a bunch of teenagers, and the game got pretty rough."

Kerry says he was injured when an opposing player committed a charging foul, "viciously crashing him into the boards." Since this was an amateur hockey match, there were no referees and no penalties assessed.

"This was an especially viscous hit," the Senator said. "I was slammed into the boards by this young thug player and felt my nose snap when his shoulder hit me in the face." Kerry, realizing his insensitivity and quickly added "by thug, I don't mean to imply he was black. This was a thuggish white boy. I hope everyone is clear about that." 

President Obama thanked the Senator for making that point clear.

After the event concluded, Senator Kerry submitted a request for a citation to Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus. Kerry wrote that he "should get his 6th medal for sustaining this injury while informally representing the U.S. Navy." 

While serving in the Vietnam War, Senator Kerry racked up an impressive collection of five medals - a silver star, a bronze star, and three purple hearts. If his latest request is approved he will have six medals, including a fourth purple heart.

Generally speaking, a Purple Heart is awarded for being wounded in combat. A superior officer normally submits the request for a medal, but Kerry had to nominate himself for each medal.