Friday, May 27, 2011

President Awards Himself Medal of Honor

Paris, May 27, 2011. In recognition for his act of heroism in killing terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden, President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, announced today that he has decided to award himself the Medal of Honor.

"I am deeply humbled by this award I am giving myself" the President told us. "I really worked hard to earn it, and I feel I honestly deserve it. My only regret is that it doesn't come with a $2 million cash prize, like my Nobel Peace Prize did."

Well wishers were ecstatic about the news when the President made the announcement during a break from his meeting with French President Sarkozy today.

Longtime fans Chris Mathews and Keith Olbermann back home in the USA were both thrilled, and promptly swooned before fainting.

"This is so wonderful for Barack" Chris Mathews told us. "I'm thrilled about this, and I still feel that Bill O'Reilly is the worst person alive today," Keith Olbermann revealed.

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