New Census Report: Obama Sets New Poverty Record

President Obama takes pride in this achievement

Washington DC, Nov 10, 2011. The efforts of the Obama Administration are clearly paying off, as the ranks of those Americans living below the poverty level has reached record high levels.

America's poor are greater than previously thought, reaching a new level of 49.1 million, or 16 percent  due to rising costs and other expenses that make it harder for people to stay afloat, according to new census estimates released this Monday.

The numbers released Monday are part of a first-ever supplemental poverty measure aimed at providing a fuller picture of poverty. It is considered experimental and does not replace the Census Bureau's official poverty formula, which continues to determine eligibility and distribution of billions of dollars in federal aid for the poor. Based on the revised formula, the number of poor people exceeds the record 46.2 million, or 15.1 percent, that was officially reported in September. 

This is good news for the Democrat Party, since less affluent Americans tend to be the most loyal Democrat Party voters. "I we can drive the poverty rate up to 20% by next November, then President Obama's reelection will be a sure thing," a President Obama's Poverty Czar John Bellmore told us.

Obama's Poverty Czar Johnny "Rags" Bellmore

While the Democrat Party has been careful not to imply that they caused this spike in the poverty level... by reckless borrowing and wasteful spending... they do recognize the political advantages this brings them.

"For the record," the Democrat Party didn't cause this downward spiral," Bellmore told us, "but we are happy to reap the political benefit from it."

"Like President Obama says, this is all former President Bush's fault," Bellmore continued.

For the first time, the share of Hispanics living in poverty surpassed that of African-Americans, 28.2 percent to 25.4 percent. That is due to an increase in the poverty rate for Hispanics under the new measure because of lower participation of illegal immigrants and non-English speakers in government aid programs such as housing and food stamps.

"We need more bilingual social workers, so we can teach these new immigrants how to get more government benefits," the Democrat Party spokesman told us.

The First Lady thinks the poor should eat more salads

First Lady Michelle Obama has her own solution for the poverty problem. The First Lady thinks that poor people should eat more salads and exercise more.

"Lets face it, salads are a lot cheaper and lot healthier than eating all those high calorie meats," she told us.

"And exercise is important too," she added, "to prevent the common problem of morbid obesity and chronic diabetes among America's poor."