Biden Speaks! Six More Weeks of Winter!

Punxsutawney Joe

Washington DC, Feb 2, 2011. President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, presided over Groundhog Day Ceremonies at the White House today.

According to legend, the President releases the National Groundhog from his hole, and then if "Punxsutawney Joe" Biden says something stupid, then we get six more weeks of winter.

No one was really shocked when Biden emerged from his hole and said "Mubarak isn't a dictator. He shouldn't step down," thereby assuring that we will get six more weeks of winter.

Informed sources in the White House tell us that the President was furious at V.P. Biden and called him into the Oval Office for a private chat to express his disappointment and outrage.

"Why can't you ever just keep your mouth shut instead of saying so many stupid things?" the President is reported to have told Vice President Biden. "I expect this from someone like Napolitanto, but you're supposed to be better than that. You're the Vice President."

This latest Biden gaffe comes at a very bad time for President Obama, since six weeks more of winter will put pressure on fuel oil costs and hurt his economic recovery.

Vice President Biden apologized profusely and reminded the President that "If I hadn't said you were clean, you'd still be working for Boss Daley in Chicago."