World Doesn't End; President Obama Takes Full Credit

President Obama gets some help from God

Washington DC, May 22, 2011. President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, revealed today that he played a key role in preventing the predicted end of the world yesterday.

The President told us, "As many of you know, the world was supposed to end yesterday according to the Mayan calender and several other predictions."

"There was supposed to be some sort of rapture thing. You might have noticed that it didn't end. You can thank we and my team for that."

The president went on to day, "When I heard the world was ending I sprang into action. I appointed a special task force headed by someone I selected, and staffed by people hand picked by me."

What would have happened

"Then I outlined a plan and a strategy to save the world. My task force came up with recommendations based on my ideas, and I approved their final report."

"Then I carefully conducted negotiations with Allah... I mean God.... and got Him to agree to give the earth a second chance."

We are all very fortunate that President Obama was able to prevent the end of the world. We seriously doubt that President Bush, or any Republican, could have pulled this off so effectively.

Okay, maybe Ronald Reagan could have done it too. But he's the only other person with this much talent, and he's no longer with us now.