Saturday, June 23, 2012

Fisher-Price Launches New Barack Obama Toys for Kids

My First Teleprompter
East Aurora, NY. June 23, 2012. The Fisher-Price Corporation, a leading manufacturer of children's educational toys, has announced a new line of toys designed to allow children to use their imagination and play at being Barack Hussein Obama, the current President of the USA.

Two exciting and educational new Fun With Barack™ toys will be released later this summer, with several additional models being released before the Christmas shopping season.

The hope is that if children have these creative toys to play with, they can emulate their role model, and perhaps someday aspire to the same high level of achievement as President Obama has accomplished.

The first model in the Fun With Barack™ series will be My First Telepromter™ and will encourage small children to develop language skills. This toy will help children aged 3-8 to overcome their fear of public speaking and help prepare them for future careers in public service and politics.

The second model, which will be released simultaneously, will be "Lets Play Golf!™" This fun toy will allow children aged 5-10 to enjoy playing president by simulating President Obama's daily workload. 

With this highly creative and entertaining toy, children can go out on their imaginary golf course (usually a back yard) and face the daily rigors of playing challenging holes and battling devious sand traps.

Lets Play Golf
Their friends can play the roles of visiting foreign dictators, and they can schmooze them and negotiate disarmament deals that leave the USA virtually disarmed and helpless.

It will provide the perfect opportunity for them to play "Take Some Stimulus Money, The Taxpayers Won't Care."

The Lets Play Golf™ cart is powered by a 6 volt rechargeable battery and is Eco-friendly and appropriately recyclable so they can be "green."

The Fisher-Price Corporation is a subsidiary of Mattel Toys Inc. Five percent of the proceeds from the sale of these toys will go to the Barack Obama Reelection Committee.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Obama Campaign Suggests Contributions in Lieu of Gifts

Sorry Billy. We gave your present to President Barack Obama
Chicago, June 22, 2012.  I swear, I am not making this up. President Obama's reelection campaign is now suggesting that rather than exchanging wedding, birthday or anniversary gifts, you should just send the money directly to Barack Hussein Obama's reelection campaign!

The President's reelection campaign has started an "Obama event registry" to let engaged fans of the president ask friends and family for donations to his reelection bid instead of presents.

"Got a birthday, anniversary, or wedding coming up?" the site asks. "Let your friends know how important this election is to you -- register with Obama 2012, and ask for a donation in lieu of a gift.

"It's a great way to support the President on your big day," it continues. "Plus, it's a gift that we can all appreciate - and goes a lot further than a gravy bowl.

"When signing up, supporters are asked to set a monetary goal. The site also provides some suggested language to use when hitting up friends and relatives for campaign cash.

 "For my big day, I'd like to show my support for a cause I believe in -- re-electing President Obama," it reads. "That's why I'm asking my friends and family to donate to the Obama campaign. Thanks for chipping in!"

Obama has been raising money at a furious clip to keep pace with his rival Mitt Romney and the Republican Party. Romney and the Republican National Committee raised $76.8 million in May, beating the $60 million taken in by Obama and the Democratic National Committee.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

President Barack Obama Achieves Historic Milestone

Washington DC, June 19, 2012. On Father's Day last Sunday President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, reached a historic milestone in his presidency..

He played his 100th round of golf in less than four years, while simultaneously failing to deliver on any of his campaign promises.

The president who promised us hope and change has delivered nothing by lots of vacations and golf instead. In his less than four years in office, he played four times more golf than President Bush did in his eight years in office.

Since it takes him about six hours to drive to the greens and complete 18 holes, Mr. Obama has spent the equivalent of four months’ worth of work time golfing. Meanwhile, the U.S. economy has been stuck in a sand trap.

2009 - 27 rounds.
Before Mr. Obama teed off for the first time as president, he delivered a State of the Union address that promised his new stimulus bill would “save or create 3.5 million jobs.” At that time, February 2009, unemployment was 8.3 percent and the debt was $10.8 trillion. He kicked off the golf streak on April 26, 2009, and he played a total of 27 rounds in his first year, which means "more than twice a month."

But this record would be eclipsed the next year, as the economy worsened and he felt the need to spend more time vacationing and golfing.

2009 - 31 rounds.
When he returned to the Capitol the following year, he stood in front of then-House Speaker Nancy Pelosi with unemployment at 9.7 percent. He asked the Democratic Congress for a second stimulus and an overhaul of the health care system, and Congress gave him everything he asked for .

President Obama is sponsored by many large corporations
After giving his own staff huge raises, the President  said he would freeze government spending for three years, starting in 2011, but that idea got lost in the woods during the 31 golf games he played in 2010, using his personalized “44” Titleist balls, which remind haughty caddies he’s the 44th president.

By the time Mr. Obama gave his annual address to Congress in 2011, he was standing in front of new House Speaker John A. Boehner, brought in during the Republicans’ midterm wave.

Unemployment was still at a high 9.1 percent. Mr. Obama announced, “This is our generation’s Sputnik moment” and demanded more money be spent. The debt hit $14 trillion as the President demanded more and more spending.
2011 - 34 rounds.
Last year, the number of Mr. Obama’s golf outings rose to 34, and many turned out to be memorable. He was on the green on May 1, 2011, when the Navy SEALs were en route to Pakistan, cutting his game to nine holes to hear of their successful mission against Osama bin Laden. Mr. Obama’s golf partners included Mr. Boehner, former President Bill Clinton and Vice President Joseph R. Biden, who got asked to tag along with the boss four times in 2011.

By the time Mr. Obama gave this year’s State of the Union address, he had 92 golf games on his scorecard. Unemployment was 8.3 percent, having never gone below 8 percent in his presidency. He took no responsibility for the $15.2 trillion debt or the nation’s credit-rating downgrade. Instead, he called for higher taxes and the “Buffett rule” while hosting the billionaire’s secretary in his guest box for the speech.

The President enjoys playing golf more than working
2012 - 8 rounds 
(so far)
Mr. Obama had no sense of shame about playing 100 rounds of golf while the rest of us couldn’t even afford the cost or time to go play golf once.

He doesn't seem to care about 48 million people on food stamps, or record percentages living below the poverty level.

Now he is asking for a second term to finish what he started. This means... "playing more golf."

Monday, June 18, 2012

"If I had a brother, he would have looked like Rodney King"

Rodney King, 1965-2012
Washington DC. June 18, 2012. President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, has authorized a National Day of Mourning for civil rights leader Rodney King.

Rodney King died sometime early Sunday morning after a night of drinking and smoking marijuana. He was found drown in the swimming pool of the mansion he had purchased with some of the settlement money he won from his lawsuit against the LAPD.

President Obama said: "We will all mourn the loss of this great Civil Rights leader, and I have ordered all flags on federal buildings to be flown at half staff for the next 30 days."

Rodney King is best known for bringing national attention to the problem of police brutality and forcing the needed reforms to police departments all over the country. He also help popularize the cultural phenomenon of looting, which eventually led to the the popular use of flash mobs to rob convenience stores and terrorize white people.

While President Obama did not directly blame former President Bush for this tragedy, he did imply that "white racism killed Rodney King." The president went on to say "if I had a brother, he would have looked just like Rodney King" mirroring his statement about the Trayvon Martin killing this February.

"Of course George Bush did not directly cause King's death," President Obama said, "but it was his policies that caused the despair that motivated King to use drugs and alcohol. And ultimately these were the agents that killed him."
"America has suffered a great loss"

Obama press secretary Jay Carney explained "Mr. King was despondent and depressed about President Bush lying about WMDs in Iraq, and unfortunately this depression led him to use drugs and alcohol which ultimately caused his premature death."

"We can all honor the memory of Rodney King by voting for President Obama in November," Carney added. "Rodney would have wanted it that way. Join Rodney King in voting for President Obama this November. ACORN has already filed Rodney's absentee ballot."

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Obama: Deport Senior Citizens not Illegals Aliens

A busload of undesirables scheduled to be deported
Washington DC, June 16, 2012. President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, announced his plan this week to suspend the deportation of illegal aliens who were brought here as children.

In doing this, President Obama completely ignored Congress and is effectively legislating by executive order. 

The President will allow young illegal immigrants to remain in the country to work and study without fear of deportation.

Obama said it was “the right thing to do” for people who were brought to the country by no choice of their own but have grown up as our friends and neighbors.

“They study in our schools, play in our neighborhoods,” the president said. “They pledge allegiance to our flag. They are Americans in their hearts and minds and in every single way but one: on paper.”

Illegal Aliens celebrate amnesty announcement
Under the new policy, the feds will stop deporting illegal immigrants who are under 30, came to the United States as children, and are otherwise law abiding. 

It also lets these illegals apply for a work permit that’s good for two years, with no limits on how many times it can be renewed.

As many as 800,000 undocumented residents in the United States could qualify for this new legal status. In New York City alone, there’s an estimated total of 500,000 illegal immigrants.

“This is not amnesty. This is not immunity. This is not a path to citizenship. It is not a permanent fix,” Obama said, answering critics who call him soft on illegal immigration.

The surprise election-year move will help Obama shore up support among crucial Latino voters, who have been critical of the high number of deportations under his administration. This political move closely follows his "evolving opinion" on gay marriage. He recently announced his support for gay marriage rights after years of opposing it in order to shore up his support among gay voters.

Obama's uncle Omar
However, President Obama does have a plan for deportations that will help the economy. The President will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting senior citizens instead of illegals in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.

Why deport senior citizens? A spokesman for the White House told us "Older people are a drain on our healthcare system they don't pay very much in taxes, plus they are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home."

One important note: this executive order will have no effect on President Obama's Uncle Omar, who is also an illegal alien. Technically, Omar is in violation of immigration law,. but will be allowed to stay here until we have a real president again.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Today's Question: Does Obama Deserve a Second Term?

The Spin Cycle will be featuring periodic "man on the street" interviews in which we will randomly stop people and ask them a question. Then we will share the results with our readers. This is our way of doing our own polling to keep our finger on the pulse of the nation.

Today's question is "Does President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, deserve a second term? 

Jason Berkowitz, Occupy Wall Street Protestor:

 "Yes, without a doubt President Obama should get a second term. I blame Bush for my failure to find a job after spending the last nine years in college getting my French History degree. 

Obama should do the right thing and forgive our student loans after he wins reelection. I think this 99 week limit on unemployment checks is pure bullshit. It should be more like 400 weeks."
Janice Foster-Williams, Professor of Feminist Studies:

 "We made history when we elected President Obama. Not only is he the first black president, but he is the first gay president as well. 

And I say, it is about damn time that gays, lesbians and transgender people get a chance to achieve high office too. Both me and my husband Cynthia will be voting for Obama this year."

Gayisha Barrows, Welfare Client and single mother:

 "I thanks President Baracks Obama for my free food, my free gubmint housing, and my free cell phone. If it wasn't for Obama my five babies be starving. 

So I be voting for him five or six times this year. He the best thing to come down da pike since dat dreamboat James who wuz Florida Evans man on Good Times."
Ted Kennedy, deceased former U.S. Senator from Mass:

 "There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Barack Osama should get a second term. He's done a terrific job adding more government workers and driving up the national debt. Just look at all those Czars he hired. 

It is wonderful having an honest President again, who doesn't lie about WMDs. Even though I've been dead for almost three years, I plan to vote for Obama this November."

Monday, June 4, 2012

Crude Oil Prices Fall: Gasoline Prices Still High

I suppose it would make sense to credit President Barack Hussein Obama, D-Kenya, for this reduction in crude oil prices, since those of us who oppose his policies don't mind blaming him for every bad result coming from his inept economic policies. 

But the President really has done some things that drive prices up. And he has done very little to offset this. He has banned domestic drilling, vetoed pipelines and shut down some offshore drilling sites.

Just remember that it is the stated goal of the lunatic left to force higher energy prices. They want higher prices so we will "get off our addiction to fossil fuels." They would prefer if we were using solar plants. Just like the one Diane Feinstein tried to shoot down in the Mojave Desert because they weren't hiring enough union workers and some turtle might have been endangered.... or by using windmills like the ones Teddy Kennedy blocked because they ruined his view.

The bottom line really is that the price of gas is now almost twice as high "on his watch" and it is very difficult for Barack Obama to blame the Tea Party or Mitt Romney for this.

The price of crude oil may have come down some, but the price of gasoline is still very high in many places. Crude oil isn't the only component of gasoline. There are also taxes, refinery and distribution costs to consider.

Here are the facts:
In California, the only state which regularly reports their average price of gas on the internet, gasoline is still more than twice as high as when Obama took office, promising "affordable gas prices."

I am not making this up, and I didn't get it from some highly suspicious source like Fox News or the Wall Street Journal. Please feel free to check these numbers on Governor Jerry Moonbeam Brown's own official state website.

California is probably the highest cost state because they require special seasonal formulas for gasoline, to reduce carbon emissions.

But the point is still valid. The price is more than twice as high as it was the day Obama took office in the same state. And the price everywhere else is ALMOST twice as high.

Relatively speaking the people in California, as well as the rest of us, are suffering.

They are just suffering a little more.